Saturday, November 26, 2016

Thoughts by Ducky

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. So I said ‘Implants?’ She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go ‘skinny dipping,’ now I just ‘chunky dunk.’

Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over?

Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn’t you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Image Credit: Survival Plus
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38 comments:

  1. Yes, I would have loved to have been able to hit ctrl alt delet on more than one occasion :)

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    1. Me too and many times. :)

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  2. HaHa. Thanks for the laughs.

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    1. You're most welcome. :)

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  3. Those are hysterical. So true about two people running for President. They are good and had me laughing out loud.

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    1. Yep, kind of sad isn't it. :)

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  4. "In bed with a relative"! Heeheehee! Thanks for the laughs this morning!

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    1. Yes, I hadn't thought of it in those terms. :)

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  5. Having a ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ on our lives would definitely help make a happier world.

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    1. It sure would Jan, it sure would. :)

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  6. these are all good- BUT especially the last one! Have a wonderful day! Big hugs!

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    1. You have a wonderful day too Kathe. Big hugs back. :)

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  7. Boo to the fat cells thingie!! And never take words on a shirt literally. ;) :) Have a wonderful day!

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    1. I agree. You have a wonderful day too. :)

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  8. That last one is a good question. And if we swear to God to tell the truth, how can we trust an Atheist?

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  9. A lot of good points here. I found the one about signing up for exercise class and needing loose clothing particularly funny. Like others here, I too wish that we could hit "Ctrl Alt Delete".

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    1. Yep, I can relate to that one very well. :)

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  10. Those are great, I love the first 2 :)

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    1. Some people are brilliant. :)

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  11. Ha ha, Sandee! Thank you so much, just what I needed this morning. :)

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    1. I thought they were clever and funny. :)

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  12. Perhaps if there were more Bible readers in school, there would be fewer in prisons!

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    1. That would be a good thing wouldn't it. :)

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  13. Sandee, these comments are for real especially this one:

    " Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. "

    Ha,ha,ha. Have a great evening my friends. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

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    1. We have to be very careful with the idiot one. It's so very true.

      You have a great evening too Paul. :)

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  14. Brain cells come? I wish.

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    1. Me too Kismet, me too. :)

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  15. Many time I also wished for the Ctrl, Alt, Delete buttons. I like the old about signing up with loose clothing. No bible reading in school increases the numbers in prison.

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    1. Some of these I would use. Some of these are just the truth. :)

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  16. Haha. Oh, I miss visiting your site for some good laugh. 'Twas a busy couple of weeks and my wifi's still busted.

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    1. Good to see you again Lux. I wondered where you went. :)

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  17. Juicy...I loved the one on argument with idiots and the obvious confusion!
    Have a great day!

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    1. Yep, you have to be careful with that one or you'll be tagged the idiot. :)

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  18. Chunky dunking isn't so bad when you do it at night!LOL

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    1. I usually do that all day. Bugger. :)

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  19. We could all use a rest now and then.

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    1. Yes we could Binky, yes we could. :)

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥