Saturday, February 27, 2016

The Hypnotist

A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone.'

'No more headaches?' the husband asks, 'What happened?'

His wife replies, 'Angie referred me to a hypnotist and he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,

I do not have a headache
I do not have a headache
I do not have a headache

Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone.'

'Well, that is wonderful' proclaims the husband.

His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?'

Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, 'WOW! - that was wonderful!'

The husband says, 'Don't move! I will be right back.'

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning 'OH MY GOD' she proclaims.

Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'

With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying ....

She's not my wife
She's not my wife
She's not my wife

His funeral service will be held Tuesday.

Hat tip: Linda W.
Image Credit: Publog
Share This

40 comments :

  1. LOL - Can't say I blame her for her response to his mantra.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kind of an ego buster indeed. :)

      Delete
  2. I don't know if I would have gone as far as killing him after all it was the hypnotist who put that suggestion in his head. Maybe just let the headaches come back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Killing him was a bit over the top, but he should have ever let her know what the hypnotist did or suggested. :)

      Delete
  3. He'd still be alive if he simply put a bag over her head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not so sure that would have went over any better. :)

      Delete
  4. So much for that hypnotist. Kind of sad. Anyway, Sandee, you and Zane have a super Saturday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's more than sad. There were two people that probably should have been together in the first place. :)

      Delete
  5. I don't understand it. The wife was the one that told her husband hadn't been great in the sack. So why was she upset? I guess women want everything. Ha,ha,ha. It's just a joke ladies.
    Have an enjoyable Saturday Sandee & Zane. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because she overheard him in the bathroom saying "She isn't my wife." :)

      Delete
  6. I say "What ever does the trick!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as you keep it to yourself if it's hurtful. :)

      Delete
  7. Oh my goodness! I think he met with a fitting end!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, he was pretty awful wasn't he. :)

      Delete
  8. Hahahahahaaaaa...good one!
    Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought it was pretty funny too. :)

      Delete
  9. The hypnotist better watch his or her back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm thinking you're right here. :)

      Delete
  10. LOL! Not the punch line I expected.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't expect it either. :)

      Delete
  11. Ya, it's the hypnotist that should be in trouble. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, his work is working. Not well, but it was working for her and for him. :)

      Delete
  12. which came first the headaches or ? Have a great Saturday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know Kathe, but it's a good question. :)

      Delete
  13. LOL well I think she should blame the hypnotist LOL

    Have a hypnotictastic day :-h

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Her husband didn't have to say that out loud though. :)

      Delete
  14. Rest in peace! Hahaha.

    Happy Saturday.

    Big hugs, honey...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's hope he does. :)

      Delete
  15. Laughing....Great one, as usual, sorry for my absences, I had a weird Facebook experience that took me a few days to clear up. I about to post your Bucket list. It was fun.

    Happy Saturday and as always thanks for a great laugh...

    "Big Bugs"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy Saturday to you too. :)

      Delete
  16. Seymour says he doesn't get it. My turn for a *face palm*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I still love Seymour even when he doesn't get stuff. :)

      Delete
  17. It would work, most likely! Heeheehee!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm guessing you're right. :)

      Delete
  18. Why does, "Don't look at gift horse in the mouth." come to mind?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you on this. Who cares about the how. :)

      Delete
  19. HaHaHaHaHaHa! Those things do happen don't they? I sure loved this story. I will be back for Aw...Monday. I am all set and ready to play! Have a great week! xo Anne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes they do. I hope you're feeling better too. :)

      Delete
  20. And he deserved it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Letting her overhear him I'm going to agree with you. :)

      Delete

Thank you for stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere. All comments are very much appreciated.

♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥