Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Husband 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Hat tip: Linda W.
Image Credit: Mobile PC Medics
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44 comments :

  1. hmmm... I am currently running Husband 2.0 and so far, all systems seem to be running smoothly.

    ;)

    big hugs xoxo

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    1. I'm with you Barb. I'm not having any issues either. :)

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  2. Oh my gosh, LMAO! This is so funny!!! :D They are definitely correct about the MIL program, too. HAHA. Day made, thanks Sandee! :D

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    1. Yes, that MIL program can be a total disaster. :)

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  3. Hi Sandee, great sharing! Lol! I am learning about so many new application software programs in one day! Have a beautiful day!

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    1. These are very tricky programs too. :)

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  4. LOL that's quite clever and much more straight forward than Windows 10 LOL

    Have a techietastic day Sandee :-f

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    1. Almost everything is easier than Windows 10. :)

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  5. Haha! Very witty. I love the suggestion to install tears 6.2. Computers and love are such tricky things. There should be an operating guide for both :)

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    1. Yep, well you have to install that to get the jewelry and other goodies. :)

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  6. Heeheehee! After about 30 years, Husband 1.0 starts to relearn a bit of Boyfriend 5.0 -- if you are lucky!

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    1. That's a very good thing. :)

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  7. Priceless! Simply priceless.
    However, since we were married long before computers and tech support, we've found that nothing replaces mutual support and encouragement. Since every couple is different, no single application will run the same in every marriage system, but Unconditional Love 1.0, Honor 5.0 and Mutual Respect 10.0 will go a long way toward preventing any system crashes. Just sayin'.

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    1. Mutual support, encouragement and loyalty is the best way to go. :)

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  8. Hubby def has that Farting and Snoring Beta going on! Haha.

    Big hugs, honey...

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    Replies
    1. Bless his heart. It's the way of things. :)

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  9. I can't believe I understand all that. Very cute!

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    Replies
    1. And it's so true in many relationships. :)

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  10. Really good, Sandee. Thank you :)

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    1. You're welcome Alec. :)

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  11. LOL. This isn't something I will show the same 'operating system' I've had for 33 years. Don't think he'd be a fan.

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    1. You and I did very well. We don't need to share this at all. :)

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  12. Installing Silence 1.0 will work wonders.

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    1. For some it's essential and for both the man and the woman. :)

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  13. TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo catchatwithcarenandcody

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    1. My buddy Linda W. has a great sense of humor. I love what she sends me. :)

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  14. That is hysterical and so in tune with the modern world. Too much tech for this old lady. But that is the way of things these days. I did get a good laugh out of all this.

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    1. I hear you Marg. Too much technical stuff for me too. :)

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  15. The war of the sexes continues!

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    1. I'm sure it will never end. I'm glad I don't play. I think men and women should compliment each other, not dwell on the differences. :)

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  16. Sandee, this is hysterical...I like this, "does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly."

    Thanks for the laugh, as always.

    Have a great Tuesday!

    "Big hugs" :))

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    1. I found this pretty funny too and I know many that act just like this. Really, and I bet you do too.

      Big hugs. :)

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  17. After running husband 1.0 and 2.0 I'm wondering why I didn't just stick with the entertainment package :)

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    Replies
    1. I did well this time around, but I could have passed on the first one. :)

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  18. this is tooooooooooo funny! Cheers!

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    1. Sad in spots too, but mostly funny. :)

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  19. Funny but Ann's comment is funny too! My husband 1.0 is running just fine!

    Hope you had a great Tortie Tuesday!

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    1. Ann comes up with some great comments doesn't she. Yes she does. :)

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  20. No beer, but has farting and snoring here. Tried guilt, laughter 1.0 came out in him. So I installed "dammit, I'll do it my own damn self"1.0! Hahahaha!

    By the way, I flunked computers in college..

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    1. I love your additions. :)

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  21. Maybe he needs to be recalled for a complete systems upgrade. Or just trade him in for a newer model.

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    1. Oh the newer model one is very dangerous. :)

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  22. This is brilliant. So funny. And a little bit true. Although my upgrade came with cooking 5.0 and I can fix anything 7.1

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    1. Oh you have some wonderful software programs. Good for you. :)

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥