Saturday, August 29, 2015

Out of Office

Best 'Out of Office' Automatic Email Replies:

I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

Image Credit: Raluca Tarcea
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44 comments :

  1. Too funny. Like the 'Out of the office' one. So typical. Sandee, you and Zane and Little Bit have a fantastic week end.

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    1. Some folks are very clever aren't they. :)

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  2. Sounds pretty accurate in certain case scenarios. ;)

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    1. Yes it does. I heard some good ones here and there. :)

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  3. these are hysterical. I like the at the doctors having heart and brain removed. That would give anyone a better chance at a management position

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    1. That's what happens with many that go into management. :)

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  4. Oh, that we could charge people for all of the crap emails we have to delete...

    Have a perfect day, Sandee! big hugs xoxo

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    1. I would be lovely wouldn't it. :)

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  5. LOL, love these...especially that last one. Or meetings..."Your credit card will be charged for every minute of my time you waste in useless meetings." People wonder why I refuse to talk on the phone to clients anymore. If they can't give me assignments and feedback in email, I don't want to work with them. Like in the office, in the freelance world people who want to talk on the phone just want to listen to themselves ramble.

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    1. We used to have to management meetings every Monday. One at 9 with the division staff and one at 1 with the sheriff. Every single Monday. My in basket was overflowing. :)

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  6. How tempting it is to write my own version of the 'out of the office' message. Love these.

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    1. Very tempting Jean, very tempting. :)

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  7. Love these. So glad I am basically retired. Life is good!

    Have a fab weekend. Scritches to LB. Big hugs times two, honey...

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    1. I'm retired and I'm happy about that. Life is indeed good. :)

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  8. LOL these are brilliant haha!

    Have a messagetastic day Sandee g-)

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    1. Yes they are and there are more to come. :)

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  9. LOL!!! These are absolutely hilarious, Sandee! It reminds me of a video I saw on YouTube quite a while ago, it is less than two minutes long, I thought you would enjoy it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQgXhEEpORw
    Thank you so much for the laughter, Sandee, you are the best. :)

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    1. I love that video Linda. I've heard it before. It should be the answering machine in every school. :)

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  10. Gee whiz- I wish I'd had these when I was working! Have a fantastic Saturday and hugs all 'round!

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    1. Me too, but we probably wouldn't be allowed to use any of them. :)

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  11. That gives me an idea ... c-)

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    1. I'll bet it does Odie. You've a very wonderful mind. :)

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  12. Your post reached me when I wasn't here. Next time, post when I'm in.

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    1. I'll try to do better. :)

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  13. Replies
    1. Some folks are very creative. :)

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  14. My old phone message was: (voice of Curly from Three Stooges).."oh look...you bent the chisel! (voice of Moe): "I'll straighten that..." (voice of Curly)..."nyuk nyuk nyuk *metallic BONK*...OW!" About 3/4s of the callers never bothered with a message ;-)

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    1. Oh good one. I like this and it's so you or did Seymour do this? One never knows with the two of you. :)

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  15. Heeheehee! The one about the brain and heart removal is especially good!

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    1. We always said you need a frontal lobotomy when you became management. :)

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  16. These were great! The management one was my fave!
    xoxo
    catchatwithcarenandcody

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    1. My favorite too Caren. :)

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  17. Hi Sandee, this is hilarious! Blessed Sunday!

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    1. Some people have such great imaginations.

      Have a blessed Sunday too. :)

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  18. I'm pretty sure that number 4 happens most of the time, but no one will admit to it. Love 'em all.

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    1. I'm pretty sure this happens often too. :)

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  19. These are great, the third one (brain and heart removed) is my favorite. I was laughing so hard had to stop before I could finish the list.

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    1. My favorite too. Some folks have a wicked sense of humor. :)

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  20. Those should scare off your customers!

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  21. hahahahahaha!! I think I should pick one and use it :) I like the "hear and brain removal" :D

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    1. We used to say you would go get a frontal lobotomy when you became management. Either way. :)

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥