Saturday, July 11, 2015

Lifes Lessons

9 Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older:

Number 9 – Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 – Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 – Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1 – Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

And, as someone recently said to me: Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long.

Hat Tip: Barb
Image Credit: Bio Edge Tech
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48 comments :

  1. #5 is so me. I haven't been fishing in week's, months, years...

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    1. Some days 5 is me too Tony. :)

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  2. Love these, #8 was my favorite, because it's so spot on, and yet I never thought of it that way before. And #1 -LMAO.

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    1. So simple isn't it. :)

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  3. These are all great. For number 3 you could also add that it often doesn't do what it's supposed to

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  4. LOL on that #1. You ain't a kiddin', sister. :)
    Have a great weekend. :)

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    1. Yep, it's very true. :)

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  5. Great pearls of wisdom. Brilliant!

    Happy Saturday. Big hugs, honey...

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    Replies
    1. Yep. great pearls of wisdom indeed. :)

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  6. Those are just terrific. They are all good. I tried to find a favorite but I liked each one. Thanks Sandee for the great laugh this morning. You and Zane and Little Bit have a wonderful day.

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    1. You're most welcome Marg. :)

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  7. um... I forgot that I', logged in as my business. But it's me. Barb. That is all.

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    1. I knew it was you. I really did. :)

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  8. Aaaaand... it appears that blogger ate my comment anyway. *sigh* Have a superb day, hon! xoxo

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    1. Yep, this has been happening to me at some sites too. :)

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  9. Number 6 is me, everyday and night, 365 day a year, I'm an Italian you know. Ha,ha,ha.
    Have a beautiful ( horny ) Saturday Sandee. He,he,he. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

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    1. You don't have to be Italian Paul. I'm just saying. :)

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  10. I might be a little too much like No. 5 than I would care to admit. I can catch my own fish, just pass the Ipad this way please.

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    1. I'm pretty bad myself. It is what it is. :)

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  11. These are all so perfect! Thanks Sandee- have a great day with Zane and Little Bit- bigger hugs!

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    1. Thanks Kathe. We're on our boat so it's all good. :)

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  12. Number 2 involves the same people in different times.

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  13. Heeheehee! Sweetie loves these!

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    1. I'm glad he liked them. :)

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  14. LOL all true too

    Thanks for pointing out my errors I had no idea how I did it, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it =D> LOL

    Have an observanttastic day Sandee :-h

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    1. It happens Steve. I kept reading and then I was reading the same thing again. More coffee please. :)

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  15. Love all the 9, just couldn't find a favourite! Ha haaa...I am becoming more like a number 5!

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  16. These are great, Sandee! Thank you so much for sharing! :)

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    1. You're most welcome Linda. :)

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  17. OMG they are all fabulous but #1 totally cracked me up!!!!!! Have a great rest of your weekend! xoxo

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    1. They are all good, but number 1 is spot on. :)

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  18. Sandee,

    I am about to choke on the cereal I'm eating.
    We all need laughter in our day. Thanks!!

    :)) :P :X

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    1. Well, don't choke on your cereal. :)

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  19. I like # 8 the best. They're all fun though.

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    1. They are all fun indeed. :)

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  20. 2,4,5, and 7 are my favorites, but the whole list was a good one!

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  21. As I get older, these get less funny.

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    1. I can relate to that. :)

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  22. Good ones. I liked the ones on jalappino and weather!

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  23. A slow, healthy death is best. I guess.

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    1. I think so too Binky. That's what I'm going for. :)

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥