Tuesday, April 21, 2015

IRS Audit

At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the agent was checking the books, he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages." What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?

"Good question," noted the CEO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company, and every once in a while they send us a free roll."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went in his obnoxious way, "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the CEO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every so often they send us a free bag of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CEO. "Well, what do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CEO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick."

Hat tip: Linda W.
Image Credit: Better Business Blog
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44 comments :

  1. Heeheehee! That they do!

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  2. Ha! I did NOT see that coming.

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    1. Neither did it, but it's probably true. :)

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  3. Good answer. Sure made me laugh out loud. Sandee, Zane and Little Bit, you all have a super day. .

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    1. Excellent answer. You have a super day too Marg. :)

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  4. Another laugh out loud here!

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    1. My buddy sends me some good ones. :)

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  5. LOL good one I didn't see that coming either :-)

    Have a taxtastic day Sandee :-h

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    1. Auditors do get a bad name if they work for the IRS. :)

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  6. Love it, love it, love it. That IRS inspector got what he deserved, a kick in the a$$. Ha,ha,ha. Have beautiful sunny Tuesday Sandee. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

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    1. The IRS isn't a very respected agency. :)

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  7. BWAH!! They sure do, don't they? (wink) Have a great day! xoxo

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    1. Yes they do. You have a great day too Caren. Scritches to Cody. :)

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  8. Ah, and after that comment, he shall see a new prick each and every year!

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    1. That's true, and then again perhaps not. :)

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  9. hoo boy! This is a good one! Have a perfect day! Scritches to LB!

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    1. It's a good one indeed. You have a perfect day too. Scritches to Miss Lucy. :)

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  10. I think that was the same prick who audited us a number of years ago. So that's how they get made!

    Big happy hugs, honey...

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    1. Yes, this is how they get made. Bwahahahahahaha. Big happy hugs back. :)

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  11. A man who worked for my father always asked for a day off at the same time each year. My dad once asked him why. He was told that it was for his annual IRS audit. He got audited every year because he deducted a lot of stuff he shouldn't. When he went to the audit, he made himself difficult. The upshot was that the auditor wanted to get rid of him and they compromised on a figure in the middle. Then the auditor looked good to his IRS boss because he extorted more money from the man and the man figured he made about $1,500 per hour tax free compared with being honest on his return.

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    1. Whatever works. Pretty clever. :)

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  12. Hahaha! Didn't expect that one although I certainly should have!

    Hope you are home safe and sound after your boating weekend Sandee! Scritches to Little Bit!

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    1. You should have, but you're not and IRS auditor so I felt safe posting this. :)

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  13. Saw it coming, tried to duck but it still made me laugh!

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    1. It's not all that easy to make you laugh either. I'm just saying. :)

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  14. I know that IRS agent. c-)

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    1. I've never been audited, but we don't try to cheat them out of our hard earned money. Oh wait, we're retired. Never mind. :)

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  15. Oh, my! That was a good one! :D

    I've never been audited. I'm hoping to keep that record, too. Yes, indeedy.

    big hugs xoxo

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    1. Good for you and I'm guessing you'll never be audited. You play by the rules as we do. :)

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  16. Ouch! That must have hurt :)

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    1. Yes, I'm sure it did hurt. :)

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  17. BWAHAHA!! I wish someone would say that to an IRS auditor!

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    1. I'm guessing someone has made them angry more than once, but this is a classic comeback. :)

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  18. I can see how that guy got to be CEO, he's smart. Love it. The IRS guy had that one coming

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    1. Yes he did have that coming and he got it too. :)

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  19. He's in audit inferno now, boyyyyyyyyyyyy! :)

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    1. He sure is, but he's going to smile a good long time. :)

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  20. That got four thumbs up; two from me and two provisional ones from Seymour, soon as he figures out how to prove he has 'em ;-)

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    1. I thought you might like this one Mike. Seymour you never know. :)

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  21. Bwahahaha!!! I didn't expect that ending

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    1. I didn't either Tony. A great comeback. :)

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  22. The CEO should stop doing the last one.

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    1. Well, it's probably too late now. The IRS has a very long memory. :)

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥