Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Fragments

You can help family members for only so long. When they want your money to live on and won't lift a finger to support themselves then at some point the bank closes. The bank in now closed and someone is about to be homeless. It's heartbreaking to say the least, but we've done nothing but enable him to do nothing.  It's now up to him what he wants to do with the rest of his life.

Hubby and I spent a quiet, and lovely day together on Thanksgiving. We didn't want to do the traditional Thanksgiving meal since we been doing that for years and years, so we decided to do something different. We did an Ina Garten's Perfect Roast Chicken that was very good. I didn't care for the veggies and won't do that again, but the chicken was very good. We then had Cheesy Potatoes and altered the recipe exchanging the corn flakes for FRENCH'S® Original French Fried Onions . Boy was it moist and good. Then I made my garlic bread and that was dinner. It was about a bazillion calories, but we enjoyed every bite.

I'm no longer a blonde. I had really blonde hair and I'm so fair that I looked washed out. I know it's because my tan is gone, but I couldn't take it anymore. So my hair is medium/dark blonde. I'll eventually put some highlights back in and I'll be more blond then. I do what you to know that I'm feeling much smarter now than I did when I was blonde. It took a bit for hubby to figure that out.

It's been raining here off and on since Saturday and we're enjoying that. We've had a very dry summer this year and this nice soaking rain is welcome. I'm sure it won't reverse the extreme drought we are suffering, but rain is rain.

May your day be filled with love, laughter and good health.
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58 comments :

  1. My husband broke out of the traditional Thanksgiving meal this year too. We went to Cracker Barrel; I had the Thanksgiving meal deal which was absolutely delicious and he had French Toast.

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    1. It's not about the food is it? It's about who you are sharing the day with. :)

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  2. You can only help someone so much before they need to take some responsibility and help themselves...

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    1. That's where we are. It's a sad thing to watch though. :)

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  3. That's when the duck got on his own two feet, when the bank closed and now look what happened! It was hard to do but so necessary!

    Hugs, bee
    Xoxo

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    1. I remember that honey. We're in the same boat. It's just heartbreaking. :)

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  4. Ack, cutting someone off the bank account isn't easy, but it's necessary. Good luck.
    Glad you had a nice, quiet Thanksgiving just like you wanted.
    So do you find yourself doing long, complicated math problems just for fun now? :)

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    1. I hope he gets it together. It sure is painful to watch. :)

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  5. That must have been very hard to do but it is probably for the very best.
    So glad you and Zane had a great Thanksgiving. It is so nice to have a nice quiet day. Hope today is a good one for you too. You take care Sandee.

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    1. It is for the best. We should have to totally support a grown man that can work. He just doesn't want to work and he hasn't had to for a very long time. :)

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  6. So hard to put the brakes on something when it's kind of become a habit. The end results are amazing though, even if there are hurt feelings along the way. :)

    Glad you had a great meal. Enjoy your rain. :)

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    1. It sure is hard to put the brakes on, but we have. We are calm and aren't going to get caught up in the guilt he's trying to inflict. :)

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  7. Yum, yum,yum Sandee. Your Thanksgiving dinner sounds fantastic but you do need some veggies even if you eat them raw. Maybe next time have a veggie dish with a dip. I love dip just like me. Ha,ha,ha. As I told Bee, I'm feeling a little weird this morning.
    Have a wonderful Tuesday Sandee and say hi to Zane from me. We don't give him credit as much as he should, man to man. Ha,ha,ha. See ya.

    Paul

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    1. Our Thanksgiving dinner was very good Paul. Too bad you and Mary Lou couldn't have joined us. There was plenty of food. :)

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  8. Tough love is just that...for ALL involved, but so necessary to obtain independence. Sending you extry hugs.

    My hair is its natural dark blonde now and I'm not entirely happy with it and may have to have it highlighted. We shall see. It has been nice not having that root thingy going on.

    Big hugs times two, honey...

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    1. Highlight make all the difference in the world. I can't wait until she's ready to put them in.

      Tough love it is. Nothing else is working. :)

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  9. We're about to do the same thing. He's taking a grand tour of North America and staying with family all the time. I think he's talking about a year. He'll be here in late January but has been told he must be out by the Super Bowl.We already have house guests for that weekend. With both the golf tournament and the Super Bowl here, there's not a hotel room to be found unless you commute from San Diego or Santa Fe. Coming by boat and staying on it is not an option.

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    1. Bless their hearts. What happens to them that they think they can get money from us whenever they want. I never got one dime from my parents. :)

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  10. I always wondered if people get treated differently when they go blonde and now I know.

    Glad you had Thanksgiving on your own terms.

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    1. Thanksgiving on our own terms was more than wonderful. We plan on doing Christmas exactly the same way. :)

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  11. Glad your Thanksgiving was peaceful. So sorry for what you're going through, but yes...as long as someone has someone paying his/her way, there's no incentive to do that thing most people don't want to do--WORK!

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    1. You are right Stephanie...he's had no incentive to work so he hasn't. He's been retired for quite some time now. :)

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  12. Interesting to note that your Thanksgiving was wonderful despite departure from tradition. As the famous saying goes ...may be change is permanent.

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    1. Yes, this is a permanent change. We are tired of doing all the work and it's time for someone else to take up the the dinners. :)

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  13. Sandee- I know what you are going through- one can only do so much! I have been in your shoes and it is so disappointing to have a loved one not take advantage of help- but rather "take advantage" of you. We went through this some years back and that person still struggles but is working and paying bills and is actually happier because he's standing on his own two feet. Big big hugs to you and Zane and that cutie Little Bit!

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    1. We've been taken advantage of and we let it happen. For way too long. I'm hoping he'll be able to stand on his own two feet. :)

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  14. So glad you had a nice Thanksgiving! Calories don't count on holidays. :) Gifts of money should be appreciated not expected. Once someone expects others to bail them out, it's not good for anyone involved so you did the right thing even if it's incredibly hard. It'll turn out to be a life lesson albeit a hard one. Glad you're getting rain! We are too and probably will until June. At least everything is green!

    Have a great day Sandee! Scritches to Little Bit!

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    1. I'm glad that calories don't count on the holidays. Who knew.

      It's incredibly hard to watch someone fold into themselves, but he's had months to take care of this. Since last March and he's done nothing. :)

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  15. We're learning that about our family member, too.
    Who started working again today.

    Well, I once heard we were to have a polar vortex winter.
    With these warm temps. I am beginning to wonder.

    Take it easy and stay warm or cool, whatever the case may be :)

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    1. It happens in most families doesn't it. Too bad.

      The weather has been weird to say the least. It's raining her and it's cold. We love the rain because we live in a desert and we don't get all that much rain. ;)

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  16. True love is doing what is best for the other, even if it hurts emotionally to do so. Good for you, getting to that point!

    It sounds like your hair is a beautiful canvas and you do what you like with it and enjoy it, and that's a good thing.

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    1. Yes, it hurts. I'm just hoping he gets it together.

      I love my hair much better now. She will check it in a month and see if it's time to do the highlights. :)

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  17. It took my parents ages and ages to cut off my brothers. It's ain't called tough love for nuthin'. No sirree.

    My hair is getting more salty but considering my age I have no complaints. I didn't get that skinny gene from my mother but I did get the not-too-much gray from her.

    Enjoy the lovely rain. You sure do need it. big hugs xoxo

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    1. Yep, we were actually supporting him. He did nothing and last January we told him that he had three more months and then no more money. He did nothing until he was almost completely broke (September) and then got fired within 30 days. Don't know what happened there and probably never will. Anyway, then comes the call that he's five days from being evicted. Hello. :)

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  18. Closing the bank isn't easy, but sometimes it's for the best.

    Glad you two had a nice, quiet dinner. Ina can make a paper bag taste good. What was wrong with the veggies? The rest of the meal sounded tasty.

    Small world. I was born a blonde, but it didn't stick. I became a grey-less brunette yesterday by choice.





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    1. It's not easy one bit, but so necessary. We aren't going to live forever.

      The veggies were put under the bird and they caramelized. I just didn't care for them. I'll do my veggies on the side from now on because I do love my veggies.

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    2. OK, I can see that. I love caramelized veggies, including brussels sprouts, done in the oven with EVOO, salt & pepper, and garlic powder. I wouldn't like them in a soggy bunch. Crunch is imperative.

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    3. I didn't care for them one bit. I think it was a texture thing and they didn't taste very good either. I don't like them soggy either. Crunch is good. :)

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  19. Dear Sandee, These decisions are difficult but you know what your heart tells you and you must listen.
    Your dinner sounds real good. Ina has some real nice recipes.
    I bet you are enjoying your hair color. It is fun to get a new look sometimes.
    Have a great day dear and blessings. xo Catherine

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    1. This is what our hearts are telling us to do Catherine. Difficult yes, but necessary.

      Our dinner was very good. Now we're planning our Christmas dinner. Just us too. So peaceful.

      You have a great day and many blessings too. :)

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  20. I can totally understand having to cut someone off. They see it as cold and uncaring and have no idea how hard it really is to say no. It's the best thing you can do though.

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    1. We should have done this long ago. It's been years. :)

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  21. Nice rundown, Sandee. Yes, got to change the locks on your bank. When we learned of our oldest son getting a divorce and his ex-to-be would keep the residence we asked him where he would be staying, he said "don't worry about me, I will sleep in my car." Of course we ...
    We had Thanksgiving at our daughter's home, the one who was in London for almost five years. It was so cute, when on the phone our five-year-old KP reported about what she had learned about the Pilgrims and Indians. She was so excited. A while back I asked what the Brits had to say about our Independence. They had us placed in the story as the Rebels.

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    1. Yep, it's hard to turn off the spicot after it's turned on. Ours is off now and shall stay that way.

      Too funny about KP and what the Brits think about our Independence. :)

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  22. I can totally relate to helping someone out financially and getting bit in the butt t many times in return. We are hurting more than he is now, and of course he hides from all family members... sometimes you can be to kind hearted. we are still helpful when able, but never to a certain someone again :(

    My white/gray hair is long (& thin) and driving me crazy. I really don't feel like coloring it, as I havn't in about 2 years, but thinking about a real wavy perm like I've had in the past. Just don't know where or when...

    glad you had a yummy thanksgiving!

    hugs, Faythe @ GrammyMouseTails

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    1. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Family can clean you out if you let them. Ours sure would and not give it a thought. He's entitled.

      I wish I could have my gray/white hair. I tried it and I looked like I was wearing a toupee. It was awful. Hugs. :)

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  23. Your thanksgiving meal is yummy!! :) and sharing that to someone you love the most is perfect.

    I can totally relate with the family members..sigh.

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  24. That's still pretty close to a traditional Thanksgiving meal. And I bet the chicken tasted like turkey!

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    1. No it tasted like really good chicken and the cheesy potatoes and garlic bread was ever so good. :)

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  25. Sometimes it's a fine line between a hand up and what becomes an expected hand out. A line has to be drawn. Sorry you find yourself having to draw one. Seymour sends his rockish regards ;-)

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    1. Yep, it's a hard thing, but he's got to learn to take care of himself. He just doesn't want to work. That's fine, but we're not going to enable him to do nothing.

      Howdy to my buddy Seymour. :)

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  26. It's not what you eat that matters, it's who you eat it with that counts. Every princess knows that. It's amazing how much hair color affects IQ, isn't it? Try to stay dry this week. Happy sailing

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    1. I so agree Mike. Having dinner with hubby was exactly where I wanted to be.

      Yep, the hair color really does help/hurt the IQ. :)

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  27. Hugs,dear. I know it's tough to watch a family member flounder, but that's also part of love. Hugs. Glad y'all had a good thanksgiving. Congrats on the IQ boost!

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    1. It's very tough to watch. I just don't know what happened to him. I never worried about him having a job. Then I did. :)

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