Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Mr. Right...

Rejection Form Letter

Dear (____rejectee's name here____ ),

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as my Mr. Right.

As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:

[Check all those that apply]

___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.

___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.

___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.

___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.

___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you babe?" comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of Your Own beer gut, was inappropriate.

___ You failed the credit check.

___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

___ You still live with your parents, and attending night classes to get your High School diploma, are slight negatives.

___ You mention your ex-wife's name more than you mention mine.

Image Credit: ntuforex
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56 comments :

  1. lol We have a friend who once took a date to Wendy's for Valentine's Day, buwahahaha That relationship didn't work out. ;)

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    1. Wendy's for Valentines day? Yikes. :(

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    2. That man's married now... and he's better to his wife. Maybe he just wasn't that into that gal? Or maybe he learned his lesson. ;)

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    3. Could be any of those things indeed. :)

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  2. Oh, gosh. I'm pretty sure my sister has had many first dated from the long list of rejectees. Blesss her heart... She STILL hasn't given up.

    big hugs xoxo

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    Replies
    1. I've had a few of these myself over my lifetime. I finally found my soul-mate. :)

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  3. I really could've used this it back in my single days.

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    Replies
    1. Me too Rhonda. It would have been far less painful. :)

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  4. "If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants" - LOL

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    Replies
    1. Oh that's a really true one too. :)

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  5. Too funny. Those are some great rules for rejection. Sandee, have a most wonderful Tuesday.

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  6. More truth than fiction in this list or at least it should be used by more young girls that don't have a clue how to pick out one of the good guys.

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    Replies
    1. So true Jean. It's a shame too. :)

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  7. Despite the fun part, there are certain objections such as too many references to the ex, mom, credit check, etc., which seem to be realistic while evaluating Mr. Right.
    Have a great day!

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    Replies
    1. Very realistic indeed. :)

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  8. He would certainly fail the last name test.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, that's important too. :)

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  9. roche' wants me to use this. i think i will! bwahahaha

    smiles, bee
    xoxooxoxxo

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    Replies
    1. You should honey. You can't be too careful. :)

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  10. Thank you for letting me know, I will be looking elsewhere and thank you for considering me.

    PS: :-h

    Have a

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    Replies
    1. Bwahahahahahahahaha. Very well put Steve. :)

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  11. PS: An email would have been suffient ty

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  12. Replies
    1. Gawd... Got it Steve. :)

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  13. I will be laughing all day at this one!

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    Replies
    1. It made me chuckle too. I miss you since you took your blogs offline. :(

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  14. This is so funny! I think I need a copy of this. :)

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    Replies
    1. Help yourself. Nothing sacred over here. :)

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  15. I fear that I would not pass any Mr. Right test except my wife's, but then, her test is the only one that has mattered for 41 years. Have blessed day.

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    Replies
    1. You're a good guy and I know it. :)

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  16. Yep, she needs to go fishing in another pond! Heeheehee!

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  17. That list is funny if you're settled in with the right one. The others should laugh, but also use it as a cautionary tale.

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    Replies
    1. I'm with the right one and yes this is funny. :)

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  18. OMG- hilarious and close to the truth - especailly the one about the "20 questions"
    Have a super duper day!

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  19. all of those are perfectly good reasons for rejection.

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    Replies
    1. I've known a few guys in my past that failed some of these. :)

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  20. I guess I need to work on some points.

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  21. I might have gotten the job except I didn't apply for it. :)
    ..

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  22. I tried dating in my 30s, before I met my husband, and I can say that I can relate to some of these all too well!

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    Replies
    1. Me too Stephanie, me too. :)

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  23. Ouch!! truth hurts :)

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  24. Dear Sandee, This is one list all young girls should know about!! Have a great day my dear. xo Catherine

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    1. Yes they should Catherine. :)

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  25. Yup, red flags for sure! LOL!

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  26. And yet somehow Charles Manson got a wedding license this week. At least the in-laws don't have to worry about him coming for the holidays. Have a fun weekend.

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    Replies
    1. What's wrong with that gal is what I'd like to know. Nuts. :(

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  27. I never received a letter like that. Thank goodness. Hilarious points of objection.

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    Replies
    1. I've known a couple of guys that fell into this kind of behavior. They didn't last long. :)

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Thank you for stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere. All comments are very much appreciated.

♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥