Saturday, November 8, 2014

Ethel

Last week, Ethel checked in to a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."

She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo.

He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well-oiled butt. She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?

Oh my, he sounded so sexy! Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one.

No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready! Now how does that sound?"

He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.

Hat tip: Judy D.
Image Credit: Zazzle
Share This

44 comments :

  1. I almost felt the embarrassment LMAO

    Have a whiptastic day and remember ...always press the 9 first :-h

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, I would have been embarrassed too. :)

      Delete
  2. ROTFLMAO Now that was funny. Mom is still laughing. Have a great day Sandee, Zane and Little Bit too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, you have to be careful when you're calling those kinds of places. :)

      Delete
  3. I laughed so hard that the pains on my side came back but I didn't care. That was funny. Have a wonderful Saturday Sandee. I really like saying that, Saturday Sandee. See ya.

    Paul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I figured you'd like this one Paul. :)

      Delete
  4. I didn't see that one coming and I laughed so hard the dog came running.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And Ethel didn't see it coming either. :)

      Delete
  5. Now that is a hoot - I haven't done that , but I have done dumb things like that before!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I haven't done this either, but I've done some dumb stuff too. :)

      Delete
  6. bwa hahahahah did she check out immediately?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I would wait until the guy was off his shift. I'm just saying. :)

      Delete
  7. She must have been a natural blonde.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Too funny. Have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a great weekend too Pam. :)

      Delete
  9. bwahahahahahaaaaa...
    Have a great Saturday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She'll be embarrassed by this forever. :)

      Delete
  10. Oops...well any port in a storm.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Replies
    1. She'll not try this again. :)

      Delete
  12. That moment of dawning horror… haha :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very well put Sarah. :)

      Delete
  13. Bwahahahaha. Now that she got her practice call out of the way I'm sure she'll do just fine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She did very well on the practice call, it's just too bad she didn't have that outside line. :)

      Delete
  14. That was really funny. I bet Ethel will be squirming at the check out desk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure she will. That little incident will be known by all. :)

      Delete
  15. oh my! that was a really good one today! too funny! roche' said so too. i don't think he gets it but he won't admit it! lol

    smiles, bee
    xooxoxxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roche is Seymour;s son. He knows way more than he'll let on. :)

      Delete
  16. I bet she wishes she'd learned to use a cell phone now~ bahahaha!

    big hugs xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll bet you're right Barb. :)

      Delete
  17. Hahahhaa! I sent an e-mail to my friend's daughter saying 'Happy Birthday Hailey Baily!' with a huge 'dynamite!' graphic. The VP where I worked happened to have the last name 'Hailey' and the computer picked his name up. I was new to email and new to the institution. The VP came down to meet me personally (it wasn't common to send email for personal use back then). hahahahahahha Thankfully he didn't hold it against me. ;) Have a Happy rest of the weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's a cute way to meet the VP. You could have sent a joke or something and that wouldn't have been good. :)

      Delete
  18. OMGoodness, how embarrassing! But it sure is funny!!!

    Big hugs, honey...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, just doing it to the right place would be hard enough, but to the guy working the hotel desk would be awful. :)

      Delete
  19. He's a lot closer, though

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, but that's not his line of work. :)

      Delete
  20. Wahahahaha!!!! Poor old Ethel :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She probably turned in early. :)

      Delete
  21. Now he'll know who to blame when there's melted chocolate all over the sheets

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, that's if she ever got that outside line. :)

      Delete

Thank you for stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere. All comments are very much appreciated.

♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥