Saturday, September 20, 2014

When You're Over 60!

This gal looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"

I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

When you're over sixty who gives a darn!‏

I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said. "Come on, what day was I born"?

I said, “Yesterday."

When you're over sixty who gives a darn!‏

I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

When you're over sixty who gives a darn!‏

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Nice legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

When you're over sixty who gives a darn!‏

Hat tip: Lucky Lady's Country Pictures
Image Credit: Cards Boomerang
Share This

38 comments :

  1. oboy! I'll be 60 next month. Think of the possibilities!

    big hugs xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See what fun you can have? :)

      Delete
  2. great, now roche' wants to pee in the pool! lol

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxooxox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He pees anywhere he wants, you know that right? :)

      Delete
  3. You are so naughty today....but fun. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a friend send these to me. A female friend. :)

      Delete
  4. LOL, These all sound like something my husband would say. He's not quite 60 so must be he's just practicing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep-, he's practicing. Watch out Ann. :)

      Delete
  5. Those are hysterical. You sure made our Mom laugh out loud. The peeing in the pool is the funniest. Goon one Sandee. Sandee, sure hope you and your family have a super week end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, old people rock if you ask me. :)

      Delete
  6. Ohh that last one'll get you in a world of trouble. Actually, they all might. ;) Have a great Saturday! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Old people just don't care do they? No they don't. :)

      Delete
  7. Sandee, you made my day with these funny jokes especially the one about the boobs. I'll have to try that one out. Do you think blondes will know what I'm thinking? Ha,ha,ha. Have a fantastic day my wonderful friend. See ya.

    Paul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Paul, all women will know what you're thinking. I'm just saying. :)

      Delete
  8. I bet that pub guy got the stink eye. Lol! That was a good one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure he did Jean(ie). :)

      ♪♪Happy Birthday to you,♪♪
      ♪♪Happy Birthday to you,♪♪
      ♪♪Happy Birthday Dear Jean(ie),♪♪
      ♪♪Happy Birthday to you.♪♪

      Delete
  9. I'm over sixty so I can say "Who gives a flying F**K." But those asteriks are hard to pronounce so I usually just say "dang" too.

    Good ones today...again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The original that was sent to me didn't have the "F" word, it had the "S" word. I just cleaned it up a bit. :)

      Delete
  10. You get a two game suspension for senior abuse.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I will have to share these with hubby! Good ones.

    Big hugs from HotLanta, honey...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think Dick will like these.

      Have fun in Atlanta honey. :)

      Delete
  12. LOL I agree who gives a darn heheh!

    Have a boobtastic day Sandee :-h

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a gal and I agree Steve. :)

      Delete
  13. Wonderful "over 60" stuff, Sandee. I'm still smiling. :)
    BTW, I have never peed on the course or in the trees while golfing.
    Swimming pools? =D>
    ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, just about everyone has peed in the swimming pool., :)

      Delete
  14. These are fabulous....My favorite?

    "I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.

    The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in."

    Although, I have to say I laughed aloud through every single one....

    Hope you had a great day, as my comment is a bit belated...

    Thanks for another great post-

    Huge hugs to you, and L-

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes the peeing in the pool one is the very best. Yes it is.

      You have a fabulous day honey. Love and hugs back. :)

      Delete
  15. The last one really cracked me up. Only 6 years to go & I can legitimately behave like this & get away with it

    ReplyDelete
  16. After hearing all that, I can't wait until I'm 60! This is kind of off topic, I told my daughter the other day that I was almost 60, but there was still a lot of juice in this tomato. My daughter thought it was hilarious and she advised that she was posting it to Tumbler. No! No! No! But her little thumbs were faster than my denials.

    ReplyDelete
  17. There's still a lot of juice in this tomato. I love this. A. Lot. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dear Sandee, I love the last one!! Blessings dear. Catherine xo

    ReplyDelete
  19. hahahaha!! I love these Sandee! :) and thankful that "I wasn't born yesterday"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too Rocks. Neither one of us was born yesterday. :)

      Delete
  20. Funny stuff Sandee, especially the lifeguard one. I laughed out loud.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, he almost fell in too. :)

      Delete

Thank you for stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere. All comments are very much appreciated.

♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥