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Late for School
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has to tell a big lie explaining why.
The teacher tells the headmaster that she is fed up with his exaggerations. The headmaster tells her to send Little Johnny to him the next time he turns up late. He'll tell Little Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one. Ever!
The next day Little Johnny shows up two hours late.
Little Johnny says, "I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school. I caught a seventeen pound trout and had to take it home. If I didn't clean it and freeze it, my mum would've been angry. That's why I'm so late."
The teacher promptly takes him to the headmaster's office and explains the story to him.
The headmaster tells Little Johnny about his own trip to school that day. He says, "I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me. I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me. He was twenty four feet tall and had six-inch fangs. He was going to eat me, Johnny! Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear. The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me. What do you think of that, Johnny?"
Little Johnny replies, "Oh yeah, that's my dog Sparky. That's his third bear this week."
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