Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Moral...

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am. My Daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Stay the Heck away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

Hat tip: Paul of Mr. Cruiser's Notes
Image Credit: Wallpaper Nursing-Careplans
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48 comments :

  1. Good thing she didn't break that bottle. hahaha!

    big hugs xoxo

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    1. We can't have alcohol abuse. :)

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  2. I wonder if Janie's dad learned the moral of that story the hard way :)

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  3. LOL, that is a great moral for sure. Glad she had that whisky with her. Sandee, you and Zane have a terrific Tuesday.

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    1. The whiskey always helps Marg. :)

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  4. LMAO Sounds like her dad has experienced her wrath too heheh!

    Have a tanfastic day and put that bottle of whiskey down Sandee :-h

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    1. Yep, no doubt about it Steve. :)

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  5. LOL cut that lady off after one beer!!

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    1. Where's the fun in that? :)

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  6. That kills the old "Candy is dandy...." thing.

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  7. roche' said he liked this one a lot. he says he likes to drink too. i don't think he ever has but then he has a vivid imagination so who knows what is really in that little hard head, right?

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxo

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    1. I never let him drink here, but he's been on the cruise ships and you just never know what he got into. :)

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  8. Funny, funny, funny Sandee. Wait a minute it better be funny, I already read this joke before. Ha,ha,ha,
    Sandee, have the best day of your life just like you did yesterday and tomorrow, best day is what I meant. See ya my friend.

    Paul

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I stole this one from you. Thanks Paul. :)

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  9. Father knows best.

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  10. I'm sensing underpinnings there... hahahhaa

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  11. oh this is great! Have a terrific Tuesday!

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    1. You have a terrific Tuesday too. :)

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  12. Every husband should know that "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" just sayin'.

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    Replies
    1. Isn't that the truth. Of course if dads not happy works too. :)

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  13. Mommy - The Drunk Enforcer

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    Replies
    1. Whatever works Bearman. :)

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  14. Yep, you also don't want to meet her in a dark alley!

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    1. Or anywhere else when she's been drinking. :)

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  15. Haha--that's the moral I got out of it!

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  16. MOL! How funny! I need a chuckle today so thank you Sandee! Scritches to Little Bit!

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    1. Glad I could make you chuckle. :)

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  17. Sounds like good advice to me!

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    Replies
    1. Yep, nothing worse than an inebriated woman that's pissed off. :)

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  18. Replies
    1. You are a wise man Odie. :)

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  19. I've known women like that! Good advice.

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    Replies
    1. I've known a few men like this too. :)

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  20. Don't mess with mama! Good one.

    About to enter OR. WYWH!

    Big hugs, honey...

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    Replies
    1. Never mess with mama for sure.

      Have fun honey. :)

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  21. Seymour fell off the entertainment center and is still rolling around the floor LHAO...

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    Replies
    1. Poor Seymour. He always lands so very hard too. :)

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  22. Sounds like Mommy kicked some ass! Yep, steer clear of mommy!

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    1. Well only when she's drinking. :)

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  23. You made me laugh out loud with this one, Sandee! A great way to start my Friday. Thank you very much my friend! :)

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    1. I'm glad I can make you laugh out loud. Have a great weekend my friend. :)

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  24. And that's before she gets the hangover...

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    Replies
    1. Yes, this is before the hangover. I don't want to see her during the hangover either. :)

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥