Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Diet Advice

Anything eaten in front of the TV has no calories. This may have something to do with radiation leakage, which negates not only the calories in the food but also all recollection of having eaten it. Entire no-calorie dinners are now manufactured and frozen for this purpose.

All cakes are horrendously fattening. However, the calories can be eliminated simply by inscribing "Happy Birthday, Bob" or "Good Luck, Pauline" in colored icing. Not only is it unnecessary to decline, it's impolite.

Sausages, cheese and the like are all fattening unless impaled on frilled toothpicks. The insertion of a sharp object allows the calories to leak out the bottom.

If you are rushed through a meal, the entire meal doesn't count. Conversely, if you have ordered something fattening and now regret it, you can minimize its calories by gulping it down.

Anything somebody made 'just for you' must be eaten regardless of the calories because to do otherwise would be uncaring and insensitive.

Image Credit: HealthMeUp
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52 comments :

  1. I'm going out today and buying a case of frilly toothpicks

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    1. I'm going right now. :)

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  2. EXACTLY on the last point, and we wouldn't want to be rude. Would we??

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  3. These are definitely good facts which I will be adhering too

    PS: I have stuck to eating standing up and have lost 2 stone already ...thumbs up Y-)

    Have a factastic day :))

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    1. Good for you Steve. You have a factastic day too. :)

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  4. If I eat cake in front of the TV, I should be fine. Now, where's my fork... ;)

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    1. I think we'll be fine. :)

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  5. Wow, that is great info. I am rushing right out to get a cake and just put Happy Birthday on it. It has to be someone's birthday.
    Sandee, you and Zane and Little Bit have a great day.

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    1. Me too. Why not Marg. :)

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  6. Is it a piece of cake or the whole cake? LOL. Diets are for the birds because birds eat worms. Ha, ha. I love BBQ steaks and ribs and pork chops and etc. Yum, yum. Have a great Tuesday and today is Canada Day her in Canada and 3 days later is Independence Day. Party time in the U.S. for all. Have fun Sandee. See ya.

    Your Canadian friend,

    Paul

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    1. Happy Canada Day Paul.

      The whole cake. All of the cake. :)

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  7. all true, i know these are facts first hand. roche' says also to tell you that if you pet a rock cake does not count for that whole day. i think he's right too.

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxooxxo

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    1. I am pretty sure Roche is right. He usually is. :)

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  8. I've always been against eating in front of the TV, but after reading this, I may just have one put in our dining room! :)

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    1. Me too, but this is worth a try. :)

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  9. Frilly toothpicks on my shopping list. Big Hugs xxoxxxx

    Mollie and Alfie

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    Replies
    1. Who knew it would be something this simple. :)

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  10. Well shoot ... must of been something else I ate then. c-)

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  11. You have to eat a balanced diet to be healthy. That's why there's ice cream (dairy) to go with carrot cake (vegetables).

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    1. You are spot on Kyla. You are so very smart. :)

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  12. oh hahahahah chuckle giggle snicker....snickers? Must now go eat a Snickers bar!

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    1. That sounds really good. Or a butterfingers. :)

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  13. And if your Grandmother made it, don't ask, just chew! Heeheehee!

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    Replies
    1. Isn't that the truth. :)

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  14. The frilled toothpicks just killed me. That's the answer!

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    1. I wish it was the answer. :)

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  15. I've actually tried all of these and have a less than ideal body as a result. Maybe I'm just not eating fast enough.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/07/ww-how-to-take-perfect-photograph.html

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    1. That could be the issue. It would be grand to have an ideal body. :)

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  16. Just eat all you want followed by a large glass of vinegar. And then stay close to the potty!

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    1. That sounds pretty severe. Bwahahahahahaha. :)

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  17. I would comment but sadly I am being rushed out the door to buy frilled toothpicks. And cake emblazoned with the words Happy Hanukkah Abraham across the entire sheet.

    Big hugs xoxo

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    1. Bwahahahahahahahaha. Let me know how it works out. :)

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  18. Yep, totally agree! Anything for holidays, celebrations or on cruises are 100% calorie free! They just make jeans shrink but that's beside the point!

    Hope you're enjoying a lovely summer day Sandee! Smooches to Little Bit!

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    1. I've noticed the same thing on those cruises. :)

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  19. If you eat the colorful cake while watching TV does it then become negative calories.

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    1. It just may and that's even better. :)

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  20. I like your diet advice, Sandee. It is similar to my cardiologist's dieten, she said I could eat ANY food in moderation!! BTW, our daughter doesn't have a 'diet', she has a FOOD PLAN. :)

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    1. Moderation is the key in all things. Tough to do sometimes though. :)

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  21. Great rules! Also--if you order something diet or low calorie and the restaurant gives you the fattening version but you don't realize it until it's too late, the calories don't count!

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    1. I think you are right about this. :)

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  22. These are all great diet tips that I must try out.

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    1. So far they aren't working for me. Bugger on that. :)

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  23. great diet advice :) I think I should stock up on toothpicks and eat with it all the time..hahaha!!!

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    1. It's worth a try Rocks. :)

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  24. I think it is important to remain caring and sensitive. Period! :)

    Big hugs, honey..l.

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    1. I agree honey. Big hugs. :)

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  25. Replies
    1. Yes, we would all be thin. :)

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  26. Does the sausege trick work for chocolate & ice cream Sandee???

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    1. Well it should Tony. Give it a try and see what happens. :)

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥