Saturday, July 19, 2014

All About Dieting

Dear Diet, Things just aren't going to work between us. It's not me, it's you. You're tasteless, boring and I can't stop cheating on you.

I have not eaten anything but one Subway sandwich a day for a month and I've gained twenty-two pounds! Not only that, those six-foot-long Subway sandwiches are really expensive!

Two overweight women were walking home from work, and they began talking about their schedule of activities for the evening. "I've got an idea" said one. "Let's flip a coin. If it lands on heads, we'll go get a cheeseburger. If it lands on tails, we'll go to get a pizza. And if it lands on its side, we'll go to the gym to work out.

Image Credit: CookingZone with Brenda
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41 comments :

  1. My luck it would land on its side. And I think it might be 6 inch subs. Maybe. Don't quote me on that. Have a cookie.

    big hugs xoxo

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    1. Me too. I'll also take the 6" sub. And the cookie. :)

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  2. Hey where did you get the letter I wrote to my diet? It's all true too. :)

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    1. It is indeed. I think most of us who diet can relate to this. :)

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  3. Good plan with the coin. I bet a six foot sub is expensive. Too funny. Have a most wonderful day Sandee, Zane and Little Bit too.

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    1. Yes a six foot sub would be rather pricey. :)

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  4. Sod's law, with me it'd land on it's side :)

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    1. And you're very thin too. Lucky you. :)

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  5. I'd sure be rooting for it to land on tails. :)

    Have a great weekend!

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    1. Pizza sounds very good indeed. :)

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  6. Enjoy life and eat to your content but within moderation of content. I love pizza. Have a wonderful Saturday Sandee. See ya.

    Paul

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    1. It's the moderation and the choices that make it so tough. :)

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  7. roche' said my a$$ looked fat this morning. i think he read my blog. that's all i need now, him saying that everywhere we go. i'll have to bribe him to shut his yap. maybe a new thong or something... yeesh!

    smiles, bee
    xooxoxxoxo

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    1. You tell Roche he is not to talk to you like that anymore. It's just not nice. I didn't know Roche could read? :)

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  8. It appears fatsos feel proud of themselves and are very protective of their eating habits even when they toss the coin. Long live overweight people.
    Compliment from a fat man to a fat woman after sex: "Thanks for the tips!"
    Have a great day!

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    1. You are most welcome my friend. :)

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  9. If it lands on it's side you just go for "Best two out of three."

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    1. I agree Joeh. Yes indeed. :)

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  10. Let's face it- most diets are not fun! Have a splendid weekend~

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    1. They certainly aren't and especially when everyone around you is eating all the good stuff. :)

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  11. It would definitely land on it's side for me heheh! I just hate diets it's best to always say your cutting down

    Have a diettastic Saturday ;-h

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    1. Yes, cutting down works much better. :)

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  12. Heeheehee! Good ones! And my Sweetie would lose weight faster if he didn't decide to go out for a sandwich once in a while because "Dinner didn't fill me up!" LOL

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    1. My hubby does the very same thing. Almost every night too. :)

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  13. I had a friend who ate a Subway sandwich for lunch AND dinner every day. It was whatever ones they have that are low calorie--ham or turkey or whatever. 300 or 350 calories? And baked chips. I don't know how she lived on a diet like that. Seems like you'd be very unhealthy.

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    1. I've heard that works, but not much choice is it. :)

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  14. A chocolate diet doesn't seem to work, either.

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    1. That's too bad Binky. A chocolate diet is so very good too. :)

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  15. My kitchen is named Jim, so that I can say that I go to the Jim every morning! It works. That's my theory about diets...blah!

    Big hugs, honey...

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    1. That's an excellent idea. I think I'll name my kitchen Jim too. :)

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  16. THATS MY KIND OF COIN FLIP!

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  17. Honey, I'm going to say to you what I say to everyone who is still stuck in the dieting cycle--stop! You're not doing yourself any favors. I'll jump down off my soapbox after I tell you two things. One, diets don't work. Two, google Health at Every Size, right now. Nobody should be stuck hating a perfectly good body because it doesn't want to be fashionably lean. Dieting really is never about health, no matter what anyone tries to tell you. It's always about trying to look like Twiggy, when some of us are simply meant to be a little fuller bodied. Much love!

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    1. Adam - this is a joke. I'm not serious here. I'm not dieting. All is well. :)

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  18. My husband went on a diet because he was diagnosed as pre-diabetic and that was the scariest thing he'd ever heard. He's been good about following the diet, but he's gotten quite ornery in the process. Life goes on, but it's not always pleasant.

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    1. I hear you. I've a friend that is doing the same thing and he's not liking it much either. :)

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  19. I love those two ladies at the end. Brilliant idea. (Sorry so late in visiting, but I think I am finally caught up with reading your blog.)

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥