Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Jay Leno

"I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don't want to get audited by the IRS."

On NSA surveillance: "We wanted a president who listens to all Americans - now we have one."

On a new IRS commissioner: "He's called 'acting commissioner' because he has to act like the scandal doesn't involve the White House."

On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: "If he really wants to close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month."

Concerning the Benghazi , Associated Press, and IRS scandals: "Remember in the old days when President Obama's biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden?"

On Obama saying he didn't know about the IRS scandal: "He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS."

"The White House has a new slogan about Benghazi: Hope and change the subject."

"It's casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they're casually going through everybody's phone calls and records."

"It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth."

"Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'"

On Obama's commencement address: "He told the young graduates their future is bright unless, of course, they want jobs."

On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a Ferris wheel: "The only other way to go around and around in a circle that many times is to read the official report on Benghazi."

On White House claims of ignorance on the scandals: "They took 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House."

"These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. It's gotten so bad that People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American."

Hat tip: Dave and Linda from Alabama
Image Credit: Eonline


  1. i wish sarge could see this. wait. i think he did!

    roche' says "hey".

    smiles, bee

  2. Ha! I like Jay Leno I used to watch his shows on one of our satellite channels but they don't seem to show it anymore ...the scoundrels =))

    Have a tanfastic day Sandee

  3. Those are terrific. Love the last one. Take good care Sandee and have a great day.

  4. Democrat or Republican, I have to admit these are funny :)

    Have a beautiful Tuesday Sandee :)

  5. Jay's about to tell his last joke and Jimmy Fallon is waiting in the wings. Sheesh. I remember when I hated that Johnny was retiring from the Tonight Show. Old. I has it.

    Have a wonderful day! I'm sure gonna try. big hugs xoxo... and extra special smoochies from Miss Gracie!

  6. Jay Leno's coming to our area soon, I think he'd be fun to go see. :)

  7. These just picked the low hanging fruit. A great comedian picks on a hard target which excludes all the politicians and lawyers.

  8. We don't see him over here, will have to check through the Satellite channels.. Big Hugs xxoxxx

    Mollie and Alfie

  9. When I read the article I was reminded of Mr. Manmohan Singh, Prime Minister of India!

  10. So, is Jay actually going to retire this time? Or is he going to try and come back to take Jimmy's spot like he did Conan's?

  11. Lol, hard to believe that I've never watched Jay Leno even though he's been on television for the last 22 years. I guess I have some catching up to do.

  12. Jay is great. Hope he lands another TV slot. Don't care for his replacement.

    Big hugs, honey...

  13. Just goes to show the comedians have more and smarter things to say about some news items than the news media does!

  14. Leno may save the country! Blessings dear. Catherine xo

  15. Jay Leno could be a reporter for "The Truth" newpaper! hahah this is a priceless post Sandee! Thanks!

  16. I will miss those one-liners from Jay! I think he is a closet conservative!

  17. This president is just scary. That's all I gotta say about that. I guess I need to just laugh instead of worry.

  18. Hi again Sandee. Really funny but at times, being a Canadian I miss the punch line. I leave in three days for my cruise on the Carnival Breeze. I can't wait since the temperature here in Amherstburg ( my place of living ) has been about -30 degrees F. and we've had the most snow in many years. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. See you.


  19. Politicians are really good at these things.

  20. that's funny :) but well, politics is two things, it's either funny or annoying..just saying..

    have a nice day my friend!!

  21. I thought don't ask, don't tell was boy scouts.
    Fun list!


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