Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Only in Calfornia

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read at Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit faced to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.

Happy New Years Eve!

Image Credit: Jaime Nieves
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48 comments :

  1. Happy New Year's Eve to you!! It's going to be a great new year! :)

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    1. Happy New Year to you too Rosey. Yes, it's going to be a great new year. :)

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  2. LOL, those are funny. I'm betting some of the people in that class are responsible for those answers.
    Enjoy your New Years eve

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    1. You enjoy your New Years eve too. My best to Duke. :)

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  3. Hi Sandee. As funny as ever, are you :)
    Kisses and hugs and have a brilliant New Year's Eve. See you next year :)

    xoxo

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    1. Kisses and hugs to you too Petro. Happy New year. :)

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  4. I bet it WOULD be tough to be a dickhead all day long... but somehow my bil has managed it for decades, bahahahaha!

    Wishing you and Zane another wonderful year of boating, good times, good food, some more good champagne, health and happiness. Big hugs xoxo

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    1. We are heading out around noon to Rio Vista to ring in the new year with other boaters. The sun is shining although it's a bit chilly. Hugs. :)

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  5. Thank you for all the 2013 laughs, can't wait for more :)
    Have a super happy New Year.. Pop by our Firewek'z.

    Load'z of Hug'z

    Mollie and Alfie

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    1. I've had a ton of laughs with you this past year. Let's do it again in 2014. Happy New Year. :)

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  6. Well you managed to get our Person to laugh out loud. Those are some good ones.
    Sure hope you and Zane and Little Bit have a Happy New Year's eve and also an even better New Year full of good health and good food and good sailing. Take care.

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    1. We hope all of you have a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. Hugs and scritches. :)

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  7. What this isn't about Florida?

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    Replies
    1. No it's not about Florida. :)

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  8. They're not real. Nobody in that class would use "he/she is cute".

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    1. Have you ever been in California? It's a lot like going to Wal*Mart. :(

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    2. He's all over it-lived in San Carlos, San Mateo, SF, Walnut Creek. Worked in Milpitas, SF, Oakland, San Mateo, Daly City, Concord.

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  9. Thanks for the giggles! Enjoy ringing in the New Year on your boat! Scritches to Little Bit!

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  10. hey hun!! HAPPY AND HEALTHY New Year my friend!...xoxoxox:) hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!:) :)

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    1. You too my friend. Big hugs. :)

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  11. holy cow! There are really some idiots out there! These answers are for real?
    Happy New Year and be safe- especially if you are driving in California!

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    1. I live in the central valley of California. This is for real Kathe. Happy New Year honey. :)

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  12. And these are the same ppl who reproduce!

    Happy New Year to you and Zane, honey...and Lil Bit...

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    1. Yes, these are the same people that reproduce.

      Happy New Year to you too honey. Big hugs. :)

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  13. Where we live, the right of way goes to the little old blue-haired lady driving a big, late model vehicle. Just stay out of their way!

    Happy New Year!

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    Replies
    1. They can barely see over the steering wheels as I remember. Bless their hearts. :)

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  14. Now I know why everyone waits for me to go at those 4-way stops. Thanks for the enlightenment.

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    1. Bwahahahahahahaha. I can see that happening Ron. Good for you. :)

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  15. Good tips for driving. Now where did I leave my loaded weapon???

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    Replies
    1. California is a crazy place Tony. Crazy. :)

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  16. Now that is funny! Some of got snort laughs... Now I know how to drive in the West, as I'm sure some of these apply to Washington State as well.

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    1. I'm sure some apply in Washington state too. Hugs. :)

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  17. Replies
    1. They are true too. Crazy people here. :)

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  18. good one honey! wishing you and zane and little bit a happy and healthy new year!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxo

    ps: roche' says "ditto". he just learned that word and uses it all the time now.

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    1. May you and yours have a happy and healthy new year too. Roche is a pistol. :)

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  19. Happiest New Year to you Sandee!! Thank you for being a great bloggie friend. May the new year brings with it loads of joy and goodness your way!!!!

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    1. You've been a great blogging friend too. I wish you loads of joy and goodness in the new year as well. :)

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  20. The fog and the policeman are my favorite. I think I will be giggling all day now.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, we have a group of weirdos here. Me included. :)

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  21. Lmao, awesome! I too would yield to the guy in the pick up truck with the gun. In fact, I'd probably back up and find another intersection.

    Have a great day!

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    1. We have some very rude drivers here, we also have some very dumb ones like these folks. :)

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  22. Too many of those people are on the roads!

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    1. Way too many Binky. :)

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  23. It's at least a promise of future development that the person could differentiate between red and yellow ;-)

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    1. Scary isn't it Mike. Yes it is. :)

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  24. uh oh...now if only I can take a peek of the answers given by our Land Transportation Office here..it might be worse :D

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