Thursday, November 21, 2013

Titles

BACHELOR: A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling. Or... A man who, when his wife drops her knitting, kicks it over to her so she can easily pick it up.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn’t do it.

HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.

JOINT BANK ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MISS: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.

MISTRESS: Something between a mister and a mattress.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the troubles you wouldn’t gave had if you’d stayed single in the first place.

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.

Image Credit: KM 1101
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24 comments :

  1. Mistress is my favorite on your list. Really fun. thanks.

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  2. Yup. Something between a mister and a mattress... nailed it! You should pardon the pun.

    bahahaha!

    Have a wonder-ful wednesday! big hugs xoxo

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  3. Can't argue with your definition of a bachelor, being as how I is one and would be otherwise ;-)

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  4. All great :) Mistress wins though . Big hugs xxoxxx

    Mollie and Alfie

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  5. LOL I loved the definition of "love"

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  6. I think they are all terrific. Too funny. And some great definitions. We enjoyed that. Hope you and Zane have a great day.

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  7. All fun but Mistress wins for me too LOL

    Have a tittertastic Thursday ;-)

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  8. Weddings save money. They're funerals for 2. 2 for the price of 1.

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  9. buwahaha, i'm so guilty of the last one. :)

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  10. roche' wants one about rocks. he's having a hissy fit right now. i am going to have to do some rock haiku or something!

    hugs, bee
    xoxoxoxoxo

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  11. Like Rhonda, my pick was "Mistress"!

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  12. I loved the Gentleman title, but oh yeah - Mistress is the best! Laughed out loud. :D

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  13. Good ones indeed! Especially that mistress one. Definitely.

    Big hugs, honey...

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  14. Oh, i like these very much! Although, in Wiley's Dictionary (Johhny Hart's BC comic strip), Wiley define Diplomat as "Not a good thing to call 'Knuckles' Lomat."

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  15. Funny! Good one on the mistress!

    Hope you and Little Bit are enjoying a sunny day!

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  16. These are so funny! Thanks for sharing Sandee and enjoy the rest of your Thursday.

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  17. wow, I think my husband is actually a gentleman....lol Love the definition of a mistress too

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  18. :)) :(( =)) +D> :P :-O c-)

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  19. :)) =)) =D> :P :-SS d-) c-)

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  20. Mistress and Husband are my favorite definitions.

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  21. Marriage is bliss.

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  22. Dear Sandee, Definitions that hit the nail on the head! Blessings dear. Catherine xo

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  23. It sure is true about the closet thing
    I think i might be delusional but i sure don't want to be cured *LOL*

    Have a great weekend Sandee!

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♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥