Thursday, August 15, 2013

Safe Sex...

Sex
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

Poor Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France Races, while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike!

Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week. He didn't take my TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick S O B!!

Scam
Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.

Best Regards
Pregnant Prostitute doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?" "For crying out loud, if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?"

Easyjet
Paddy calls United to book a flight. The operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?" Paddy replies "I Don't know! It's your bloody plane."

Instead of "the John"
I call my bathroom "the Jim". That way it sounds better when I say "I go to the Jim first thing every Morning.

Hat tip: Ron Russell
Image Credit: ASHA Blog
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24 comments :

  1. I'm going to the Jim today. Or tomorrow. I'll be cruising so we'll see what happens. ;)

    Have a lovely day honey. You know I will! big hugs xoxo

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  2. I am so laughing at "On drugs I couldn't find my bike " Thanks for the laughs Big Hugs xxooxx

    Mollie and Alfie

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  3. Every one got a giggle out of me. The remote one made me smile the biggest. Just yesterday, a friend of mine was telling me about her mom's (who has early stages of dementia) claim that someone stole the remote to her TV. My friend proclaimed, "No one will steal the remote and leave the TV."
    She'll get a kick out of this.

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  4. LOL "the Jim"...that made me laugh out loud literally. Have a wonderful day :)

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  5. I heard that Jim one before, it's a good one! Also the Lance Armstrong one made me smile.

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  6. Goodness, those are all hysterical. Too darn funny. Love them. Have a great day Sandee and Zane and Little Bit. Take good care.

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  7. hee hee giggle! Thanks for the smiles!

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  8. Remember when all you needed for "safe sex" was a padded headboard. Ah the good ole days.

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  9. knee slappers! and i am going to call my bathroom the jim too! roche' says it's "hawt" sounding. i have no idea what he means.

    smiles, bee
    xoxo

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  10. Friend of mine dressed for halloween as safe sex

    He carried a safe around in front of him.

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  11. tat load sure cracked me up big time! thanks Sandee.. its true abt them drugs.. if i were to be on drugs.. don't think i'll be anywhere esp on a bicycle.

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  12. Lots of fun to read these this morning! My dad the doctor will love the one about the pregnant prostitute.

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  13. Oooh my! ROTFL :p

    This was a hilarious round up...love the 'Jim' trick ;D

    Haha thanks for stopping by Sandie and commenting on my peaches!

    Toodles,
    Tammy<3

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  14. Those are hilarious! I'll have to make sure my hubby sees this post!

    Enjoy your day Sandee! Smooches to Little Bit!

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  15. LOL! They are all so funny! Enjoy the rest of your day Sandee.

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  16. "I go to the jim every morning" that was my favorite :)

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  17. Thanks for the plug Sandee!

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  18. These are really funny. I won't call it the little boys room anymore. I'm going to the Jim

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  19. These are really funny. I won't call it the little boys room anymore. I'm going to the Jim

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  20. LOL, Can't stop laughing, these are great

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  21. I need a new sign for my bathroom.

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  22. Seymour's in stitches over #1...I wonder why ;-)

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  23. LOL thanks for the happiness.

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Thank you for stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere. All comments are very much appreciated.

♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥