Sunday, January 13, 2013

Because I Am a Guy...

Because I'm a guy, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a guy, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't need to see it. Did you remember to pick up something for my mom too?

Because I'm a guy, I am capable of announcing, "one more beer and I really have to go," and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I'll be home soon and no I don't understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. What's the connection?

Because I'm a guy, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a guy, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.

Because I'm a guy, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without, it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Everything is fine. CAN WE JUST GO NOW?

Because I'm a guy and this is, after all 2013, I will share equally in the housework. You do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

Image Credit: Hyatt Spas
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16 comments :

  1. Does my big butt make my butt look big?

    After nearly 60 years of still being in love with each other, I watch as my parents still try to navigate these murky and sometimes dangerous waters! Bless their hearts.

    Have a lovely day honey! big hugs xoxo

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  2. Because I'm a guy I think in shades of black or white. I either like what you are wearing or I don't. Please don't try to have me rank order your outfits.

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  3. Oh sure, dump on me again.

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  4. another knee slapper!

    smiles, bee
    oxoxoxoxxo

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  5. I think I know that guy!

    Smiles and big hugs, honey...

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  6. Those are really funny. Thanks for the chuckle this morning Sandee. Hope the boat is doing all right. LOL. Take care.

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  7. Guys have to pay for all dating expenses and gifts. More often they have the unpleasant task of pacifying their dates in case of minor or major misunderstandings.

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  8. I wish I could point out some untruths here, but I can't.

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  9. LOL! My spirit is lifted as I fight the flu Sandee!:) Enjoy the rest of your day.

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  10. Well all that eating is a lot of work.

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  11. AFTER READING THIS I'M SURE I'M A GUY!

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  12. Because I'm a guy, I can see in four to six basic colors. Pink is pink, peach is a fruit, mauve is an anomaly. I accept it, I enjoy it. Don't bring home twenty color samples to find my preference.
    Because I'm a guy, if I ask what's bothering you, and you say nothing, I'm going to take you at your word. And be totally flummoxed when you get angry.
    Because I'm a guy, hints don't work. you want something , say it. Only women believe we can read your mind.

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  13. snerffff! hahahahaha!

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  14. nyahahahaha!!!! oh so true :)

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  15. Hahaha, it was a guy. But I do not entirely like that above :D

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