Saturday, June 30, 2012

The British

15 comments:
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying :

Friday, June 29, 2012

An Idiot's Idiot

21 comments:
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.

The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Idiots and Geography

17 comments:
After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.

My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?"

Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia.

He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Wednesdays Question

28 comments:
It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: Who was your least favorite teacher?

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Idiots and Retail

27 comments:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Awww...Mondays

11 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Edna

18 comments:
This letter was sent to the School Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you.

Dear Lions Bay School,

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Silly Sunday

17 comments:
Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Kibitz Spot and Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Comment Game

25 comments:
It's time to play the comment game again. We are on our boat for the weekend, but that isn't anything new.

Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free to come back as often as you like. Just have fun. If someone derails the game will one of you put it back on track? Thanks.

Friday, June 22, 2012

The Golden Years

18 comments:
Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

A Farm Kid

20 comments:
When you're from the country ~ your perception is a little different.

A Iowa farmer, in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's, and knocked at the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your Dad home?"

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Wednesdays Question

24 comments:
It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: Who was your best childhood friend?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Debt Ceiling

21 comments:
Democrats don't understand the debt ceiling.
Republicans don't understand the debt ceiling.
Liberals don't understand the debt ceiling.
Conservatives don't understand the debt ceiling.
NO ONE understands the debt ceiling!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Awww...Mondays

13 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Automation Gone Bad?

20 comments:
Automation or automatic control, is the use of various control systems for operating equipment such as machinery, processes in factories, boilers and heat treating ovens, switching in telephone networks, steering and stabilization of ships or aircraft and other applications with minimal or reduced human intervention. Some processes have been completely automated. Source: Wikipedia

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Silly Sunday

18 comments:
Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Kibitz Spot and Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Arthritis...

19 comments:
Patrick, who smelled like beer, sat down on a subway next to a priest. His tie was stained, his face and collar was stained with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Drunk in Distress

21 comments:
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, He totters and asks, "Can yer give us a push buddy, I can't get started.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and goes back to bed.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Fifteen Kids

18 comments:
A woman walks into the a benefits (welfare) office, trailed by 15 kids...

'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?

'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Wednesdays Question

35 comments:
It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: What is your favorite dessert?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Wordless Wednesday

27 comments:
Wordless Wednesday (WW) is a visual blogosphere phenomenon. Whereas blogs (web journals) are primarily about "words" bloggers love to dress their journal entries with imagery. WW is a simple blog post featuring a photo which conveys a message that speaks for itself without using words.

Little Johnny

22 comments:
Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Anne Boleyn

19 comments:
Teacher: 'Jimmy, who was Anne Boleyn?'

Jimmy: 'She was a flat-iron.'

Teacher: 'What on earth do you mean?'

Jimmy: 'Well, it says here in the history book, 'Henry VIII, having disposed of Catherine of Aragon, pressed his suit with Anne Boleyn.'

Awww...Mondays

11 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Silly Sunday

15 comments:
Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Kibitz Spot and Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Life After Marriage

19 comments:
Daniel and Jessica, young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When they got back, Jessica immediately phoned her mother and her mother obviously asked, 'How was the honeymoon, dearest?'

'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. So romantic.'

Friday, June 8, 2012

More Weird Stuff

21 comments:
In France, people eat approximately 500,000,000 snails per year.

Approximately one billion snails are served in restaurants annually.

Over 90% of all fish caught are caught in the northern hemisphere.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Weird Stuff

20 comments:
Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.

To make one kilo of honey bees have to visit 4 million flowers, traveling a distance equal to 4 times around the earth.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Wednesdays Question

31 comments:
It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: What is your favorite cold beverage?

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Readers

17 comments:
The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.

USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts.

Monday, June 4, 2012

More Funny Sayings

18 comments:
When you're getting kicked from behind, at least it means you're in front.

Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

Awww...Mondays

12 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Silly Sunday

17 comments:
Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, co-hosted by Rhonda of Kibitz Spot and Laugh Quotes and Sandee of Comedy Plus. Rhonda is on a big adventure traveling the world until December 2, 2012. For more information about Silly Sunday click HERE.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Snotty Receptionist

18 comments:
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman. He gave her his name.

Friday, June 1, 2012

The Bathtub Test

22 comments:
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."