The Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name sailor?"
"John," the new seaman replied.
"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by their first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown of authority.
"Aye, Aye Chief!"
"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The seaman sighed. "Darling. My name is John Darling, Chief."
"Okay John, here's what I want you to do..."
Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun