Dear God: Is it on purpose that our names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
- I will not eat the cats food before he eats it or after he throws it up.
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
- The litter box is not a cookie jar.
- The sofa is not a face towel.
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dads underwear when he's on the toilet.
- Sticking my nose in someones crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
- I don't need to suddenly stand up straight when I'm under the coffee table.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house...not after.
- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
- The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Hat tip: Dave and Linda from Alabama