Friday, August 24, 2012


I miss my mother something awful. She died at the age of 60 from Lou Gehrig s (ALS) disease. Did you know that I'm 60. She died so very young.

My father was a tyrant when I was growing up. He'd often beat me and then send me off to school looking awful. My high school principal took me home more than once and told my mother that I needed to heal up before I could return to school. I had a very interesting childhood.

When I told my father that I wanted to go to college he said why, you're only going to get married and have babies.

School was always simple for me, but very hard for my brother and sister. They would study and study and have a terrible time making decent grades. I always wondered why there was such a difference.

With all the conflict I dealt with while growing up my father told me many years later in my life that he was very proud of me. I was then a Sergeant in our local Sheriff's Office. He died before I was promoted to lieutenant. He would have really liked that, and yes we did make peace. It just took a long time.

When I entered high school I was extremely popular. My mother was very religious and dancing wasn't allowed, so when I came home so excited that I'd been named the princess (by my peers) of the first dance of the year, I was heartbroken when she told me I wasn't going. Many years later she admitted that she should have let me go.


  1. Oh, bless your heart honey. I can't imagine how horrible it must be to be beaten, especially by the one man you count on to protect you. My Dad use to take off his belt and snap it and we'd all run screaming and giggling, because of course while he said the beatings will now begin, he was joking. He was the tickle monster.

    I had some nasty things happen to me, but nothing I'd ever put online. And nothing about my parents. But I truly believe every life has its horror stories. Or at least un-pleasantries.

    Have a lovely Friday! big hugs xoxo

  2. That's sad your dad beat you up like that but glad he came around later at least. Sorry you lost your mom so soon too--funny how I used to think 60 was old!

  3. That sure doesn't sound like a fun childhood Sandee. Glad you are so happy now. Give that hubby, give that dog and give that boat all a huge gigantic hug from us for making you a happy person.
    Have a wonderful week end.

  4. i am so sorry honey but you sure turned out good!!! and we all love you bunches! and how tragic about your mom. i am so sorry.

    i never did make peace with my father although i sure did try. his loss.

    hugs, bee

  5. Oh, that's so sad to know that you were beaten as a child, and to lose your mum at just 60 years old. My mum was not much older and died when I was only 37. It's the end of life as we know it when that happens.

    You have more than made up for the rocky early years of life now though :)

  6. These things do happen in life. You have to take them in your strides with a positive attitude to maintain your cool.

  7. Wow, to have come so far and be such a wonderful, strong, loving woman. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that stuff growing up. This sheds some light on some of your past comments.

    ALS is a nasty disease. I don't wish that on my worst enemy.

    Sending you lots hugs, love, and light today...

  8. It's sorry to hear about your childhood. Those are pretty much the same memories I have of my father. Before he left. He showed up many years later, but we never really made peace. I was all ready grown, so I got even by having a decent life any way. By not beating my child. My brother beat his son the way we were beaten, told me I was making a big mistake by not doing it to my son. If you look at how our sons each turned out, I think I won that argument.
    Sometimes, those who have the roughest childhoods turn out to be the best grown-ups, as you yourself prove. Have a great weekend.

  9. That was painful to read, I'm sure it was even harder for you to write and to share it. But I'm glad you did, I'm always glad to learn something about my blogging friends good or bad. *hugs*

  10. Even though I hate you went through that, it is so nice to get a glimpse of the real you, not just the blogger you. Big hugs!!

  11. Wow! I'm glad you turned out the way you did despite that! Keep on truckin!

  12. Such a poignant post. At least you were able to make peace with your parents, and I bet you managed to break the circle of abuse you endured without visiting it onto your own children. I think success is determined not by what we achieve but by how far we've come. You've come an exceptional distance.

  13. Sandee,Big Time Hug.I guess what does not kill us makes us stronger.Sorry you lost your mom to ALS(that sucks)Thanks for sharing a part of yourself with us.

  14. I cannot begin to understand how horrible that had to be for you. I'm so glad Your Hubby came into your life because you have the Steadfastness of a good man.
    I'm so sorry about your mother. I have lost all of my loved ones in deaths or accidents that came upon us so quickly there was no time for good byes. But I've often wondered if that wasn't better than watching someone you love suffer.
    My dad died when I was 21 - he was just 50... In my case, I was the one who gave my dad grief, and I will never forgive myself.
    Love you, friend....

  15. I'm sorry to hear you had such a rough childhood. Obviously it didn't hold you back though. Just look at you now kiddo :)

  16. I love you my Darlin'

  17. Big (((((HUGS))))) for you Sandee. I'd have hugged you back when if I had known you then.

    That has to be an awful way to start life. I thought mine was bad but yours was even tougher.

  18. Sadly, both our fathers had similar traits. He killed himself when I was 19, before I was old enough to truly stand up to him. His loss...and I have just learned to live a different life from my childhood.

    We both have been blessed with good husbands, and that is definitely a trait I am happy to share with you!

    Big hugs from Mayberry, honey...


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