Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Dogs versus Cats

The Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.
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  1. Ah, the cat diary. My friend Barbara loves to read the cat diary.

    It's totally non-fiction, too. Cats really DO think that way. And as they say, "Cat's Rule and Dogs Drool!". hahahaha!

    Me? I love them both!

    Have a lovely day, Sandee! Big hugs xoxo

  2. Give me a Cocker Spaniel every time. People like to be appreciated and dogs are more than willing to express unconditional love.
    Cats are cats...just sayin'.

  3. Both cats and dogs are terrific and those facts are all so true. But miniature donkeys are fun too. LOL. We do like both, they each have their own assets. Have a great day.

  4. Now I understand completely.

  5. gotta love those cats!

    smiles, bee

  6. be careful around those stairs! LOL!!!!

  7. Very funny. You know what they say: Dogs have owners while cats have staff.

  8. I love cats, I love how you can look at them and know their thoughts are going a mile a minute. I love dogs too, heck I love all animals. Well no snakes eek...

    Have a wonderful day Sandee ((HUGS))

  9. You know what they say; dogs have owners, cats have staff. This from a guy getting used to having two cats around.

  10. I love both cats and dogs but can't beat a dog's enthusiasm for living in the moment

  11. MOL! So true but that's what makes both dogs and cats wonderful!

  12. I guess that's why cats aren't man's best friend.

  13. Uh-oh...My husband wanted to have both as pets..I'm sure he'll love this dairy entry :)

  14. This must of been taken from my pet's diaries, they are spot on lol!
    Janet :)

  15. Soo true! I miss my furbabies something awful.

    Big hugs from hawt Germany, honey...

  16. Very funny Sandee. My pets have always been dogs!:)

  17. Lol. I have both cat and dogs but i always keep my dog outside
    Internetdreamz | free style blog

  18. Poor animals, the cat has a 'why me' syndome. Nice comparison, Sandee.

    Our cat has a chair just for her between Mrs. Jim's and mine at the breakfast room table where we spend hours every day.
    The dogs have to sleep on the floor if they want to be in the kitchen.


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