Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Declaring War

Don't mess with the South!!! We mean business.

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hello, President Obama a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump's Catfish Shack in Vicksburg and I am callin' to tell y'all that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"

"Well Jimmy Boy," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my brother Mikey, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor and his brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JD's Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store.

Barack paused. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Jimmy Boy. "I'll have to call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Jimmy Boy?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mikey's farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you, Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Jimmy Boy, "I'll be wichya."

Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Jimmy Boy, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, grits, greens and pie and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed that many prisoners."


Hat tip: Dave and Linda from Alabama
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  1. That boy is sho nuff right about that, ya hear!

    Big hugs from Germany, honey...

  2. Dang! I love pie. Why didn't that Jimmy Boy call me over for supper? I'm practically right down the street!

    have yourself a YAYful day, Sandee! Big hugs xoxo

  3. Now that there was original and funny too boot!!! Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

  4. Sounds like a perfectly logical reason to call off a war. After all, one can't be a bad host to one's prisoners!

  5. oh yeah, don't mess with bubba! for sure! but honey if you are ever in any NEED, call him, he'll be there!

    smiles, bee

  6. Funny. Can't beat confidence like that.

  7. That probably is almost true. Sounds like a southern thing to do. Thanks for the great laugh. Take care.

  8. You had to mention grits. now I'm craving me some greens and cheese grits!

  9. Sensible. Have a great day!

  10. A little bit of confidence goes a long way. And all I can think of is where I could find a bowl of grits this morning.

  11. Jimmy Boy is one smart fellow! This is really funny Sandee. I hope your day has been going well.

  12. I guess that could be a problem.

  13. Thanks for checking in on me. I love you for that. I am hanging in there. I have just had a really horrible week.

    Hope you are having a good week.

    Big hugs,

  14. That Jimmy is a smart one!

  15. I wasn't sure how it was going to end. Clever and cute.

  16. Long on confidence short on common sense...haha

  17. That is funny! I loved the time I lived in Virginia.

  18. yey to Jimmy boy's confidence!! :) and what a good food they shared :D

  19. It would work that way too, Sandee. LOL


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