Saturday, August 11, 2012

Childbirth 101

Things Not To Say During Childbirth...

Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.

Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts?

I hope your ready. The Glamor Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes.

If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball.

That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner?

When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar.

You don't need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.

This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy.

Oops! Which cord was I supposed to cut?

Stop your swearing and just breathe.

Remember what we learned in Lamaze class! HEE HEE HOO HOO. You're not using the right words.

Your stomach still looks like there's another one in there.


  1. There IS another one in there.

    Yeah... that'll shut him up.

    Happy Saturday honey. I know you're out on the boat having a grand time. Me? I'm probably reading, surrounded by kitties because it's Saturday and pouring! Ain't life grand? xoxo

  2. *Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.*

    I wish men could too ;)

  3. I learned, from personal experience, never, ever, under any circumstance mention how women in third world countries give birth and go back to work the same day.

  4. Yep the second to the last is my favorite and Barb's answer fits the bill, lol! I love these, they are all funny & cute!

    Have a great weekend Sandee. I am just going to assume & of course by all means :-)hope you guys are having a wonderful and blessed time on the boat this weekend ((HUGS))

  5. The I Love Lucy one is good and as a matter of fact they are all good. How to make friends and influence people, just say things like that. Take care and good sailing to ya.

  6. oh he's toast!

    smiles, bee

  7. You don't need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment.

    unfortunately he used that same line when he got her into this mess..hahahah

  8. Sounds like good advice, Sandee!! LOL
    That is everything except for the football games. Wives should always schedule birthing around those. Never give birth on Monday Night or Saturday or Sunday football time.

  9. Any guy who'd utter any of these comments had better be sure there isn't anything sharp within mom-to-be's reach in the delivery room.

  10. hahahha! I remember childbirth in just that way. It was just like an "I Love Lucy" episode. Instead of an epidural, I used laughter.

  11. That sprained ankle most likely stopped hurting after a week or so but dang almost 30 years later and childbirth is still

  12. I love this post...really cute. I remember going through all 4 of my pregnancies.

  13. I wont lie, I'm glad men cant experience the miracle of childbirth.

  14. I have never experienced it Sandee but based on what I have been told, these statements would be out of place!:) Take care.

  15. "My Aunt Bernice swelled up like that once but it was from poison ivy." Probably shouldn't say that either.

  16. have never experience giving birth but hoping someday soon and of course I know my dear husband won't say anything like that or else...hehehe!!!

  17. Or... as overheard while I was in labor and PUSHING... my mother says to the nurse "that's a nice necklace, where did you get it?!"

  18. Dead meat. That would be him!

    Big hugs, honey...

  19. Sometimes you should just keep your mouth shut.


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