"The Seventh Commandment is, 'Thou shalt not admit adultery.'"
"Moses died before he ever reached Canada."
"Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol."
"The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him."
"David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar."
"David fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times."
"Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines."
"The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels."
"The epistles were the wives of the apostles."
"St. Paul cavorted to Christianity."
"Paul preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage."
"In some religions a man can have many wives, and this is called polygamy. In our religion a man can have one wife, and this is called monotony."