Friday, March 2, 2012

Liverpool Football

The Liverpool manager flies to Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football. He is suitably impressed and arranges for the player to come over.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chelsea with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod, and on he goes.

The lad is a sensation. He scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and the coach are delighted and the media loves the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

"Hello mum, guess what?" he says, "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."

"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day... Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and sexually assaulted, your brother has joined a gang of looters and all while you tell me that you were having a great time?"

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry?," screams his mum, "It's your bloody fault we came to Liverpool in the first place!"

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun


  1. Oops, trouble everywhere, it seems.

    Have yourself a lovely day. We sure are here in sunny WPB. Big hugs, honey...

  2. I did not see that one coming! Ooooops! Have a great weekend, Sandee! :)

  3. Have a wonderful weekend.

    Big hugs,

  4. I'm with Ivanhoe and didn't see that one coming at all! Remind me to not visit Liverpool when I finally make it over to England!

    Have a great weekend!

  5. Oooh, that was unexpected, but funny. Did not expect that one. Hev a great weekend

  6. I won't be moving to Liverpool anytime soon,lol!

    But it was kind of funny, I guess I have a morbid sense of humor, lol!

    Have an awesome weekend :)


  7. Well good thing I don't want to go to Liverpool. Doesn't sound like a very nice place. Have a great day Sandee.

  8. Funny. But I wonder if my friends in the UK would laugh. Probably.

  9. I kinda saw that one coming... but it still made me chuckle...

  10. I missed something... Severely.

  11. All inclusive guilt trip to Liverpool with shooting and sexual assault.

  12. When we first moved to Yorkshire, we wanted to go and see the birthplace of the Beatles, in Liverpool. We got chatting to a Liverpudlian and were told in no uncertain terms NOT to visit Liverpool. It was far too dangerous for us to go wandering around there. We never have.

  13. not at all what I was expecting. :)

  14. That great and with what, I suspect, more than a grain of truth.

  15. Next time maybe they should stay indoors.

  16. My husband's a huge Liverpool fan. His dream is to visit Liverpool to watch his favourite team play football. Guess I am not going. :(

  17. LOL -- Oh Gosh! Now it isn't even safe in Liverpool?

  18. LMAO a lot funnier than what i was expecting :-)

    I do feel sorry for Liverpudlians (Scousers) sometimes they do get a bashing lol :-)

    Although they do have the best accent out of all ours :-)

  19. At least the player is I didn't know it's not safe in Liverpool..:( oh well..I must admit I don't know anything about Liverpool.

  20. Liverpool isn't that bad... It's worse! Never been and never will!

  21. OK. There was *nothing* redeeming about that story! Hated it.

    But good to know, I guess, that I should stay away from Liverpool. lol. Who knew? Now I do!

    just sayin'

    I love you Sandee!!!


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