Thursday, June 30, 2011

Ten Cent Martini's

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents'. They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, Gentlemen?"

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wednesdays Question

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: Name one thing that drives you insane about driving in your town/city?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Fable of the Porcupine

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Awww...Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Carpool

For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled to our children's soccer practices. I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again, so I wouldn't be able to take my turn.

A few minutes before she was due to pick up my son, my husband showed up. Since it was too late for me to call and say I could drive after all, I asked my husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Welfare Office

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.

'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'are they all yours?"

' Yep, they are all mine,' the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Good-Bye

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Two Lawyers

Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food. Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Wednesdays Question

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question. Do you worry about things too much or do you just let things slid?

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Old Farmer's Advice

“Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.”

“Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.”

“Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.”

“A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.”

Monday, June 20, 2011

Awww...Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

I Believe...Part II

I believe—
that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe—
that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

I Believe...Part I

I believe—
that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe—
that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

Friday, June 17, 2011

New Commandment

In honor of Governor Schwarzenegger, a new commandment has been added to the Bible.

Be sure to write this one in underneath the other ten:

"Thou Shalt Not Sharest Thy Rod With Thy Staff."

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Urgent Warning

Aliens are coming to earth tomorrow.

Their mission is to abduct all the good looking and sexy 'old' people.

Don't worry you'll be safe, I'm just leaving you this post to say goodbye.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Tagged

Lucky and Little Bit

Little Bit and Lucky from Marg's Pets tagged me for a fun meme. I just love the name Little Bit because our dog is named Little Bit.

I've been visiting Marg for a very long time and enjoy her and all of her babies very much. Okay here goes.

Wednesdays Question

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question. What is your dream car/truck/motorcycle, and have you owned that dream car/truck/motorcycle?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Hat

An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

Monday, June 13, 2011

Awww...Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Seeing Eye Dog

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."

The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Replacement Windows

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo,... just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Ethel and Mabel

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, 'Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?'

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Two Old Ladies

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Wednesdays Question

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question. If you could change one thing about your home/condo/apartment what would it be?

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Father O'Malley

Father O'Malley has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long that he decides to take a vacation. He is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life, so he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Awww...Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Understanding

A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the fears and temptations his future congregations faced if he first took a job as a policeman for several months.

He passed the physical examination; then came the oral exam to test his ability to act quickly and wisely in an emergency.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Storm

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Memorial Day Recap

Thursday afternoon hubby and I headed for the boat to do some loading and cleaning in preparation for leaving for the island Friday morning. The weather was fair on Thursday and Friday morning the sun was shining. By mid-afternoon the wind picked up and it got cold. Most of us stayed bundled up all weekend long. In the first picture you'll see one brave soul wearing shorts.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Redneck Smoke Alarm

Now that's funny, I don't care who you are!!!!

You never have to change the batteries either!

Hat tip: Georgia L.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Wednesdays Question

It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question. If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?