Friday, December 23, 2011

The Horse

A jockey is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horse's trainer. The trainer tells the jockey that this is the worst horse he has in training. It has had 23 races and finished last in every one of them. If it doesn't win today, the milkman will be using it for deliveries in the morning.

The jockey mounts up and takes the horse down to the start. The race begins and the horse is 30 lengths behind the pack after only half a furlong.

He gives the horse an great backhand on the rump. Nothing.

He then gives him a series of sharp slaps on the shoulder. Nothing.

He then gives him two wallops right on the hindquarters.

The horse comes to a sudden stop, turns to the jockey and says, "Will you stop it with that whip? I have to be up at four in the morning to deliver the milk!"

Hat tip: Phil of Phils Phun
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  1. Maybe he can get a paper route, too!

    Have a lovely Christmas Eve Eve, Sandee! Big hugs xoxo

  2. Haha! Smart horsie. I'd rather be delivering milk than racing :)
    Merry Christmas, Sandee!

  3. an intelligent non-race horse!
    Merry Christmas Eve!

  4. I bet on a horse like that. After placeing my bet, I went to the fence to watch the race. As they wer parading to the post, my horse stop and stuck it's tongue out at me. I knew I had a loser. Yep, it came in dead last!

    Have agreat day.

  5. Cute. My milk better not be late.

  6. *giggles* Now that's a horse that's got his priorities!

  7. ah, he knows his fate!

    merry christmas honey!

    smiles, bee

  8. except the milkman is much fatter than the jockey.

  9. Sounded like the horse preferred to deliver the milk rather than carry on racing heheh!

    Have a brilliant Christmas Sandee ;-)

  10. Horses can say it;-)

  11. can't say that I blame the horse. I would rather get up early and deliver milk than do all that running too

  12. Delivering the milk is probably much easier than racing anyway.

  13. I love this talking horse!:) Oh if all animals could talk! Have a wonderful holiday weekend Sandee.

  14. Just scrolled through and caught up with the posts I've missed and I'm still laughing at the joke about the Scotsman going to his first baseball game!

    Maybe the Scotsman needed to be yelling "Run! Run!" at this horse!

  15. Smarter than most people! I remember the Milkman days!

  16. Poor, poor horse. I don't like getting up at 4am either. Just sayin.

    Big hugs, honey...

  17. I had the same thought as Binky. At least delivering the milk is probably whip free


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