Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Israelis vs Arabs

The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath. This “duel” would be a dog fight.

The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. The negotiators agreed each side would take 5 years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its people the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its arms for good.

They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of each litter, fed it the best food and killed all the other puppies. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine. After the 5 years were up, they had a dog that needed steel prison bars on its cage. Only expert trainers could handle this incredibly nasty and ferocious beast.

When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed up with a very strange-looking animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long! Everyone at the dogfight arena felt sorry for the Israelis. No one there seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any chance against the growling beast over in the Arab camp.

All the bookies took one look and predicted that the Arab dog would win in less than a minute. As the cages were opened, the Dachshund slowly waddled toward the center of the ring. The Arab dog leaped from its cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast whole in one bite. There was nothing left but a small puff of fur from the Arab killer dog’s tail floating to the ground.

The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media personnel let out a collective gasp of disbelief and surprise. The Arabs approached the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in disbelief. “We do not understand,” said their leader, “Our top scientists and breeders worked for 5 long years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans, Rottweilers and Siberian wolves, and they developed an incredible killing machine of a dog!”

The Israelis replied. “Well, for 5 years, we have had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons from Boca Raton working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.”

Stolen from: Phil of Phils Phun

25 comments:

  1. And the moral of the story is to never underestimate your enemies, nor overestimate your friends.

    Or eat hot dogs. I'm not sure.

    Big hugs xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yep, that is a good one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Or simply: Don't mess with the Israelies! Good one.

    Happy birthday to you son yesterday. I forgot that both our boys shared the same birthday. Mine turned 37, and I don't know how that has happened:)

    Thanks for the heads up on the countdown clock, but mine was working this morning. Big hugs, honey...

    ReplyDelete
  4. His bite IS worse than his bark.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The moral of the story is to go to Boca Raton for your surgery? Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tee hee! Those Israelis are smart! LOL! Loved that one.

    Gee, i wonder if the Boca Raton plastic surgeons can make me look 30, stacked, sexy, and thin. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well the smart side won. Good one Sandee. Hope you are having one heck of a day.

    ReplyDelete
  8. lmboooooooooooooo woohooo! go Israel!!!xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think I need to get a one of those...seems like the perfect guard dog. I knew those Arabs were going to be in for a nasty surprise!

    ReplyDelete
  10. That one made me laugh! Smarts always win.

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is so getting swipped for Loonytoon Central.

    ReplyDelete
  12. oh good one again!!!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxooxox

    ReplyDelete
  13. and the reminds me of the one in which the punch line goes something like: Well I don't what you would call it but before I cut off it's tail and painted it yellow it was an alligator!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love Israel as if she were a second home to me, but this scene bothered me. I guess as Jews we're taught not to celebrate someone else's pain, and I hated how someone had to lose in order for Israel to win. Don't you just love how I turn your fun little jokes into serious analytical discussions? ;)

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. I liked this one. Very funny. Thanks for another laugh! Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Good one, I figured the dachshund would win but I didn't see that coming.

    ReplyDelete
  17. great site you had! added you in my site, pls do the saem , thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  18. a hungry dogigator..smart Israelis!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Ha HaI didn't see that punchline coming.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Is it kosher for their weiner dogator to eat a dog

    ReplyDelete
  21. he is so cute. thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  22. Well now, there ya go.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere. All comments are very much appreciated.

♥♥♥Have a terrific day.♥♥♥