Sunday, May 15, 2011

Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here’s fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate..

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate…
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21 comments:

  1. Where would you like to go to dinner has always been one of my favorites! You know what's especially funny to me about this on this particular day? A friend was over last night and on Mother's Day he didn't make out so well with the whole "Here, have some Chocolate" thing! Bless his heart!

    Big hugs xo

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  2. Nah, nah - Made me laugh!

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  3. That little guide will certainly help me in my understanding of women.

    Chocolate shop, here I come...

    :0)

    Cheers

    PM

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  4. "SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?"

    Not good advice...don't want a hormonal woman to HAVE to make a decision.

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  5. I think I'm going to print this one out and give it to my husband. He REALLY needs this list :)

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  6. I'll take the chocolate, thank you very much!

    Big hugs, honey...

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  7. That is a smart man's guide to women. Chocolate...now that's the right answer.

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  8. Hehe, looking forward to see in July;-)

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  9. This is now required reading for hubby dear...

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  10. Actually any of the option C's and D's would work on me and most people any day of the month. Why wait for "those" days?

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  11. My wife would definitely prefer to go out to dinner than chocolate...

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  12. Oh yes, I have learned the hard way what to say, and more importantly, what NOT to say.

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  13. I have now taken notes lol

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  14. I guess I have to copy this and put it in my husband's wallet :)

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  15. I knew that women like chocolate, but i didn't know that it could get you out of everything. "Thanks for the advice"

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  16. I was shocked when a (lady) Sunday school teacher once announced in our class the "candy's dandy but liquor is quicker."

    My out is "What can I make you for lunch? How about having a sardine sandwich with me?"
    ..

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  17. The wonders of chocolate!

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  18. Hilarious!! :-))

    All us guys should learn this in boyfriend school!

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  19. (grinning) I have no husband, boyfriend, but I want to keep this, (just in case) and give it to the man in the future lol.

    Have a great day Sandee.

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  20. that was ....wait have some chocolate!

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  21. My girlfriend and I love chocolate. Dark chocolate that is to be exact. :D

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