Sunday, May 15, 2011

Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here’s fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate..

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t overdo it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate…
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  1. Where would you like to go to dinner has always been one of my favorites! You know what's especially funny to me about this on this particular day? A friend was over last night and on Mother's Day he didn't make out so well with the whole "Here, have some Chocolate" thing! Bless his heart!

    Big hugs xo

  2. Nah, nah - Made me laugh!

  3. That little guide will certainly help me in my understanding of women.

    Chocolate shop, here I come...




  4. "SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?"

    Not good advice...don't want a hormonal woman to HAVE to make a decision.

  5. I think I'm going to print this one out and give it to my husband. He REALLY needs this list :)

  6. I'll take the chocolate, thank you very much!

    Big hugs, honey...

  7. That is a smart man's guide to women. that's the right answer.

  8. Hehe, looking forward to see in July;-)

  9. This is now required reading for hubby dear...

  10. Actually any of the option C's and D's would work on me and most people any day of the month. Why wait for "those" days?

  11. My wife would definitely prefer to go out to dinner than chocolate...

  12. Oh yes, I have learned the hard way what to say, and more importantly, what NOT to say.

  13. I have now taken notes lol

  14. I guess I have to copy this and put it in my husband's wallet :)

  15. I knew that women like chocolate, but i didn't know that it could get you out of everything. "Thanks for the advice"

  16. I was shocked when a (lady) Sunday school teacher once announced in our class the "candy's dandy but liquor is quicker."

    My out is "What can I make you for lunch? How about having a sardine sandwich with me?"

  17. The wonders of chocolate!

  18. Hilarious!! :-))

    All us guys should learn this in boyfriend school!

  19. (grinning) I have no husband, boyfriend, but I want to keep this, (just in case) and give it to the man in the future lol.

    Have a great day Sandee.

  20. that was ....wait have some chocolate!

  21. My girlfriend and I love chocolate. Dark chocolate that is to be exact. :D


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