Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Salesmen

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Jack!", the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand.
"You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the
Church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman.. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?. Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?"

Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could."

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister! agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,
"W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ------o-o-o-or-------- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"

Current whereabouts: Boating


  1. LMAO Clever man,

    Well I'm off i have a London Marathon to finish today....watching it that is :-)

  2. Perfect way to start my Sunday morning.

  3. Hold on and let me get my purse!

    Happy Sunday to you!

  4. Good for him. Great story. Thanks for the smile this morning. Hope the boating is good this week end. Take care.

  5. hope your boating is totally tits honey, and thanks for the smile this morning!

    smiles, bee

  6. A great Sunday story. I will need to use this at church today. Thanks again Sandee, for all the laughs.

  7. Excellent! hahahaha Hope your boating day is awesome!

    Big hugs :]

  8. LMAO-

    Didn't see that one coming, Aaaattttt-Aaaaalllll.

    have a great Sunday!

  9. Louie is one smart

  10. Ha! That's a good one! I can see it already he'll be hitting the road making speeches and seminars on his sure fire sales techniques.

  11. If I get a stuttering salesperson at my door, I'll know they read this h'yar ;-)

  12. I'll have to remember that sales technique!

  13. Ha Ha Ha this really did make me LOL.
    Being one of Jehovah's Witnesses I may have to try this technique. I'll let you know how many Bibles I distribute

  14. Sounds more of a threat than a sale technique...or a threatening sale technique? Well, as long as it sells. LOL!!

  15. Yep, that would do it for me!

  16. Way to go Louie!

    Mel Tillis would be proud. ;)

  17. i could imagine the face of the person who answered the door. hahaha!

  18. Bwahahaha...i would rather to buy the Bible too nyahaaha.

    Have a great day.

  19. I think if I had him at my door stammering like crazy I would have given him the 10 bucks to get rid of him as well!

  20. Don't know how I missed this one. That's a real high pressure sales technique, lol.


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