Friday, April 22, 2011
Posted by Sandee
60° F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. New Englanders sunbathe.
50° F: New Yorkers turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens.
40° F: Italian & English cars won't start. New Englanders drive with the windows down.
32° F: Distilled water freezes. Maine's Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.
20° F: Floridians put on coats coats, gloves, wool hats and thermal underwear. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.
15° F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0° F: All the people in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows.
10° below zero: Californians fly to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.
25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. New Englanders get out their winter coats.
40° below zero: Washington, D.C. runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep inside.
100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in New England get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs."
460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). New Englanders start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"
500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series.
Labels: Ever Wonder Humor