Wednesday, April 20, 2011


The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter Montana.

1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are horses, cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-90 and I-94 go east and west, I-15 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar, air conditioned tractors that we drive three weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat Walleye & Rainbow Trout. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and A-1.

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Vikings and the Seattle Seahawks and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards ---- it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Montana State or the University of Montana. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.

16. We have more folks per capita in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Montana." If you do, you'll likely get your butt kicked.


  1. That's what i like, toleration lol :-)

  2. The "Opener" here in Northwest Arkansas is much the same. Most construction projects come to a halt because "The Hills Are Alive" with hunters.

  3. LOL... so true... so true....

  4. a really good one! i saw one similar once about texas. love this...

    hugs, bee

  5. I think I'll make a sign that says "Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot."

    That goes for no matter where you are nowadays!

    Happy Humpday, honey! Big hugs xo

  6. A whole lot of that applies to jawjah as well.

    Big hugs, honey...

  7. I'd be darn proud to be from Montana if that was the case.

    Yep, darn proud. Them is my kind of rules!

  8. Those are really great rules. All states should have them especially the droopy pants one. And the one to wave at pickup trucks. It does sound a little like what Texas rules should be. Good one Sandee.

  9. They should pass a law against wearing droopy pants.

  10. I saw this once before only it was meant for Erie Pennsylvania. Pretty much applies around here

  11. Montana doesn't sound like a bad place to be. I'm on my way...

  12. Wow, sounds like a pretty inviting state, not. Seems you need to drive a truck, own a gun, enjoy to hunt and shop at Walmart. Nothing wrong with that, but nothing to brag about either.

    Have a great day Sandee and as always a big HUG :-)

  13. Been there.
    Love #4. In Norway used for 2 1/2 Week.
    Who pays?
    The farmers or Tax Payers?

    btw. Z U mid July;-)

  14. Montana sounds like a pretty darned good to place to me!

  15. No truer words ever spoken.

    Have a terrific week and days.

  16. I think I might be a little lost there, and a bit frightened ;)

  17. When i was stationed in southwestern Oklahoma everyone waived at you there too. It was the weirdest thing to be driving down a lonely road out in the middle of nowhere, a car approaches and the guy or gal waves at you...

    I guess it's better than road rage.

  18. Where I live drivers only wave when they're angry, and there's usually a middle finger involved.

  19. Give me those wide open spaces any day of the week! Love the "common folk."

  20. Our government here in Tasmania needs to make #1 Legislative Law with the death penalty for anyone who breaks it. Police to shoot on sight. I am so sick of seeing these morons with their pants around there crutch & their boxer shorts or jocks sticking out the top. But they're cool, just ask them...

  21. After reading this it's no wonder my Dad wanted to move to Montana after he built a cabin there. Have great weekend.

  22. I'm scared of Montana already.


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