Saturday, April 16, 2011

Girlie Wisdom

One of the mysteries of life is that a two pound box of chocolates can make you gain five pounds.

The reason women over 50 don't have babies is because we would put them down and forget where we put them.

It's time to give up jogging for your health when your thighs keep rubbing together and starting your pants on fire.

What happens if you confuse your Valium with your birth control pills?
You have 12 kids, but you don't really care.

Skinny people bug me. They say things like, "Sometimes I forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my keys, my glasses, my address and my mother's maiden name. But I have never forgotten to eat! You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

What is the best way to forget your troubles? Wear tight clothes.

Why is it harder to lose weight as you get older? Because by that time your body and your fat have become really good friends.

My mind doesn't wander, it leaves completely.

What happens when you leave an outfit hanging in your closet for a while? It shrinks two sizes.

It's nice to live in a small town, because if you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

I read some article which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's what I call a perfect day.

Current whereabouts: Boating
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  1. Hilarious!! So darn true, damn it!! lol

  2. That 1st one gets me annoyed the most. Why is that so true. They need to develop a negative calorie compuond to mix in the chocolate. The more you eat the less calories you take in. Now I would buy that stuff by the pallet load.

    P.S. I deleted you from my Google Reader & resubscribed via your Feedburner link so I add to your Feedburner stats.

  3. I grew up in a small town and everybody knew everything about everybody.

    Just found your site. If I like a post for women and I am a man then that must mean you have a great blog :-)

  4. good morning! hope this has you on a smooth sea and a sunny day with a light breeze and a warm smile! and the post is funny too!

    smiles, bee

  5. #3 must be true, 'cuz I've never seen a female jogger go racing by with flaming thighs...

  6. I can so relate to the one about clothes shrinking in the closet. Every year when I put the winter clothes away and pull out the summer stuff I find that they have all shrunk in storage.

  7. We're having some rather nasty storms so it's a good thing you are not boating here!

    Our new baby goosies have lots of water to splish splash in today!

    Big hugs :]

  8. Yep, those all sound about right to me!

    Hope you're having a lovely weekend!

  9. I've had more perfect days than I care to count.

  10. Yes - wonderful stuff! I've had "perfect days" all week long...:)

  11. Hahaha... I have never forgotten to eat either - I do agree it takes a special kind of stupid hehehe. Have a nice trip on the boat!

  12. Too much of that rings true for me :)

  13. The reason women over 50 don't have babies is because we would put them down and forget where we put them.

    LOL so that's the reason why huh???

  14. Sometimes I forget to stop eating.

  15. Symptoms of stress, my former wife had all those and it had nothing to do with stress! How can anyone forget to eat...they gotta be nuts. And unfortunately at times my mind does completely leave me.

  16. What, Bee said!

    Ditto from me.

  17. nyahaha...i sometimes really forget to eat...nyahahaha

    Have a great day Sandee.

  18. Even better than the smart kid things you ran yesterday. And every one of these is true!


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