Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Test

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
  • First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
  • "Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
  • "Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"

Stolen from: Ron Russell of Totus: Conservative Political Commentary
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  1. Whaaat???? wahahaha:) poor guy!

  2. You gotta be kidding me! Bwahahaha! :D

  3. ahahahaha! That was awesome!

    Big hugs xo

  4. LordyLordy didn't see that one coming. Poor Dog, er' Lucky lady?

    Happy Hump Day!

  5. And that's another reason I don't drink.

  6. Good one, Sandee!

  7. That was powerful Tequila!

    Enjoy your day. You always do. Big hugs, honey...

  8. GUess he doesn't get the money. He screwed, pun intended, it up from the git go.


    We've got snow. Blech!

    Hope your day is great.

  9. oh my word! that was the best one ever! ha ha ha ha ha

    smiles, bee

  10. I knowd I gived up tokillya years ago fer a good reason...I don't like Lexus ;-)

  11. Now that is pretty funny. Love it. Thanks for the huge laugh. Sure didn't think it was going to end like that. Have a good one.

  12. LOL! They better not tell him the real situation here.

    Have a terrific day! :)

  13. ROTFLMAO!!!

    nuff sed. snerx.

  14. I found this post quite amusing, thank you.

  15. aw shux..ha HUGS back at ya!

  16. Ha Ha Ha Didn't see that punchline coming. Good one

  17. Yep, he got the message... bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  18. LMAO....great one!

  19. OOPS!!! I wonder if he gets bonus points for that

  20. LMAO! Have a great day!
    Big hugs!


  21. Very...very funny. That ending took me by surprise. I cant stop laughing...

  22. OMGosh!
    Poor pit bull!! LOL

  23. Oh boy, this is why it's not a good idea to take bets while drunk.

  24. Oops! It's easy to confuse the two.

  25. made me laugh so hard Sandee...hahaha which is why i don't drink tequila hahahahaha.


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