Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Debutante Ball

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's captain received the following note from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be excellent dancers, as they will be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies. One last point: No Jews please."

Sending a written message by his own yeoman, the captain replied:

Madam, thank you for your invitation. In order to present the widest possible knowledge base for polite conversation, I am sending four of my best and most prized officers. One is a lieutenant commander, and a graduate of Annapolis with an additional Masters degree from MIT in fluid technologies and ship design.

The second is a Lieutenant, one of our helicopter pilots, and a graduate of Northwestern University in Chicago, with a BS in Aeronautical Engineering. His Masters Degree and PhD. In Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering are from Texas Tech University and he is also an astronaut candidate.

The third officer is also a lieutenant, with degrees in both computer systems and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting notification on his Doctoral Dissertation from Cal Tech.

Finally, the fourth officer, also a lieutenant commander, is our ships doctor, with an undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia and his medical degree is from the University of North Carolina. We are very proud of him, as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at Bethesda.

Upon receiving this letter, Melinda's mother was quite excited and looked forward to Thursday with pleasure. Her daughter would be escorted by four handsome naval officers without peer(and the other women in her social circle would be insanely jealous).

At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four handsome, smiling black officers.

Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered, "There must be some mistake."

"No, Madam," said the first officer. "Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes."

Stolen from: Phil of Phils Phun


  1. I just love it when the tables get turned! There is justice!!!

  2. Captain Goldberg is no dummy! hahahaha!

    Hope your trip home was enjoyable! I know Little Bit will be excited to have you home and will no doubt be just about jumping out of her skin to see you both!

    I just loved getting to hug you both in person! Love you both! Big hugs :]

  3. Bwahahahahaahahhaha... We are all people... Capt. Goldberg was smart!

    Welcome home. You two were missed.

  4. Good on Capt. Goldberg. He played his cards well.

  5. I love it. Sailors are experts at malicious compliance.

  6. I had a feeling where that one was headed, bless the captain's heart! Smart fella. That would be one outstanding belle of the ball!

    Our week was sooo much fun, but far too short. Big hugs, my friend. Miss y'all already...

  7. loved that one!

    and i MISS YOU!

    smiles, bee

  8. Well played, well played.


    I suspected the outcome.

  10. That was such a good ending. Did me so much good to hear this story. Would have love to have seen the expression on the woman's face. Good one Sandee. Hope you are home all nice and safe

  11. As expected your ending is superb.
    welcome back home.

  12. Smart man! I love it.

    Welcome back home. I have missed you.

  13. Welcome Home! Does this one fall in the catagory of payback is a real B****??

  14. by the way this is so getting swiped for Mike's Place!

  15. Captain Goldberg is clearly a man of great wisdom.

    Welome back to dry land...

  16. Ha hah! Oh I love it!

  17. Good job captain Goldberg...lol

  18. Sweet! that should teach a snobby woman a thing or two! Aye, aye captain!

  19. Hahaha!
    The bigot had it coming!

  20. So I guess Sammy Davis wasn't one of the officers.


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