Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Exam

22 comments:
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

Friday, December 30, 2011

The MIL

19 comments:
A game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother in law. One morning, while deep in the forest, the wife awoke to find her mother gone.

Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Groundhog Day 2012

24 comments:
In the coming New Year, 2012, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

This is an ironic juxtaposition of events.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Wednesdays Question

21 comments:
It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: It seems that more and more people are less and less tolerant about anything and everything. Why do you suppose that is?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Faith Healer

23 comments:
Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes on their
various disorders.

"I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "But I guess it is impossible."

Monday, December 26, 2011

Awww...Mondays

7 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

The Cabbie

24 comments:
Three men hail a taxi. The driver- seeing that they're drunk- decides to pull a fast one. So he switches the engine on, then quickly switches it off and announces, "We're here!"

The first guy hands him the fare, the second guy says, 'Thanks," but the third guy angrily smacks the cabbie's head.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Florin Stree Band

29 comments:
For those of you that celebrate Christmas I wish you a Merry Christmas. For those that don't may you have a fantastic day. For our family, today is a day filled with family, good food, and remembering the reason for the season.

This is a new Christmas song and it's awesome. I hope this new group makes it to the top of the charts.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

A Stable?

21 comments:
Every Christmas morning, when my kids were little, I read them the nativity story out of the big family bible.

When my son was old enough to talk, he asked me what a stable was.

I thought for a moment how to explain it to him in terms he could understand, then told him, "It's something like your sister's room, but without a stereo."

Friday, December 23, 2011

The Horse

18 comments:
A jockey is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horse's trainer. The trainer tells the jockey that this is the worst horse he has in training. It has had 23 races and finished last in every one of them. If it doesn't win today, the milkman will be using it for deliveries in the morning.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Christmas

17 comments:
A married couple had been out Christmas shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had 'disappeared.' The somewhat irate spouse called her mate’s cell phone and demanded: "Where the hell are you!?"

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Wednesdays Question

20 comments:
It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: If you could personally witness one event in history, what would you want to see?

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Easy Chicken Recipe

23 comments:
Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing...imagine that!

When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out.. Give this a try.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Awww...Mondays

6 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

ABC...

19 comments:
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while and then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks, "What does that mean?"

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Silly Sunday

10 comments:
Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

The rules are simple:

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Comment Game

23 comments:
It's time to play the comment game again. We are home this weekend instead of on our boat because there's so many thing to do to get ready for Christmas.

Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free to come back as often as you like. Just have fun. If someone derails the game will one of you put it back on track? Thanks.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Stupid People

21 comments:
Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how...

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

First Four

24 comments:
One of my blogging buddies sent this to me and I searched for the first four words that describe me. It was fun and I thought I'd share this with all of you.

Go ahead, what are the first four words you found? And does it ring true?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Wednesdays Question

25 comments:
It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: Winter wonderland or a tropical beach?

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Run, Run

17 comments:
A Scotsman moves to Chicago and attends his first baseball game. The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double. Everyone is on their feet screaming, "Run."

The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers, "RUN RUN". The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Awww...Mondays

7 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Taming the Lion

23 comments:
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid- twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Silly Sunday

15 comments:
Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

The rules are simple:

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Only Pleasure in Life

18 comments:
A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8.

The obviously well trained salesman says, "But sir, you take an 11 or eleven-and-a-half."

"Just bring me a size eight."

Friday, December 9, 2011

Sugar's Furry Friend

13 comments:
I'm a BIG fan of Sugar the Golden Retriever. She and her mom, Maria Rosalyn Acero, are a daily read of mine. Sugar's mom wrote a book called Sugar's Furry Friend. I purchased a copy and read it a few days ago. The book is geared for children ages 3 to 6 years old, but I found it a very pleasant read. Here's what Toni F., Teacher said:

Thursday, December 8, 2011

$100.00

25 comments:
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. He decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA they decided to send it to the President.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Wednesdays Question

18 comments:
It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: Do you agree with the Occupy Wall Street movement? Why or why not?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Bob and Mary

16 comments:
This is the completed Story Game of "Bob and Mary" that you all did an outstanding job in authoring.

Bob and Mary just finished three days of holiday shopping when Mary discovered that she had forgotten something important and essential. She had not gotten anything for Bob. Since it was Cyber Monday, Mary sat down at the computer and typed in http://www.amazon.com, thinking she might get him a book on how to bake a cake but instead she found a great sale on cartoon character underwear, a whole set for only $300!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Awww...Mondays

9 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

The Blonde Nun

26 comments:
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Silly Sunday

15 comments:
Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

The rules are simple:

Saturday, December 3, 2011

This 'n' That

26 comments:
Today I woke up as staff commodore as last night I was relieved of my duties as commodore during our annual Change of Watch ceremony.

It's a great feeling to have made it through all the working chairs unscathed. Our club is fiscally sound (one of my biggest goals) and I'm smiling from ear to ear.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Cookie Day

26 comments:
This holiday is for honoring and enjoying the sweet flavor of cookies and sharing them with friends and family. Let this holiday remind you of fond memories of days gone by. Let today be the day you learn to bake new cookie recipes and learn to decorate a cookie in a new way.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Stock Market Terms

16 comments:
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Jay Leno

16 comments:
1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing, its called the stock market - Jay Leno

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street - Jay Leno

3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Winter

24 comments:
My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.

One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Awww...Mondays

7 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

The Story Game

15 comments:
It's time to play The Story Game again. Here's how it works. I'll start a story. You continue it in comments. Each commenter picks up where the last left off. In a few days I'll give it an ending and post our story with the links to everyone who participated under the heading, "Contributing Authors". You can play as many times as you want. If someone derails the story will one of you put it back on track? Thanks for playing along and have a great day.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Silly Sunday

21 comments:
Are you funny? If so, please join in at Silly Sunday, hosted by Rhonda of Laugh Quotes.

Silly Sunday is your chance to share a favorite joke, silly picture, funny quote, amusing anecdote, creative comic or anything which made you smile today – and get a bit more traffic to your blog.

The rules are simple:

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Growing Older

22 comments:
Aging: eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The easiest way to find something that's lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Involuntary...

20 comments:
A professor at the University of Wisconsin was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.

Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to spice up his lecture.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

23 comments:
Yesterday I asked what you were thankful for on Wednesdays Question and today I decided that I would tell you some of the things I'm thankful for.

For a wonderful, loving husband.

For my family that will be visiting today.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Wednesdays Question

26 comments:
It's Wednesday so that means it's question time. There isn't a right or wrong answer to this question as everyone has different opinions on any given issue.

So here's this weeks question: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving for those living in America. What are you most thankful for?

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thanks Babs

31 comments:
Babs of Beetle's Memories & Ramblings sent me this photograph some time back and I stored it away for a day that I just needed a break.

This is the day I need a break. This did crack me up too.

The caption and the cats expression is spot on. Have a great day everyone.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Awww...Mondays

8 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Far Out!

26 comments:
After getting some great music from Grace of Dragon's Alley from the 50s and 60s. Then it was this post from Sarge Charlie and this post from Empress Bee that really got me to thinking about the 60s. I decided to take a look at the 60s in the good old U.S of A.

Population 177,830,000

Unemployment 3,852,000

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Boasting Boys

26 comments:
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Thank You Grace

16 comments:
Earlier this month Grace of Dragon's Alley had a contest. In her post titled, Let's Have Some Fun we were to guess what her favorite music is and I decided to play along. I knew that Grace loves all music, but she really loves opera so that was my guess. Well I won a CD and it arrived on Saturday. Thank you for putting together 31 really great songs.

Friday, November 18, 2011

I'm Telling You!

21 comments:
Judy at Judy H-J-s Thoughts - A Twinless Twin awarded me the Tell Me About Yourself Award. If you've not visited Judy she has a lovely blog that I would read and not comment on (I know Empress Bee I'm not supposed to lurk). Here's what Judy's blog is about: