Three men approached the pearly gates for entrance into heaven:
The first man stepped forward feeling confident all the things he’d done for the world would gain him passage into paradise.
St Peter asked. “Who might you be, and what have you done for humanity, and your country..ah you’re an American?”
The first man answered. “ I am a Democrat and the Democrats and I have done much for mankind; Democrats introduced legislation to feed the homeless, provided aid for the underprivileged through government programs, we tried to be bipartisan and work with our irrational Republican colleagues, tried to revitalize the American dream, protected the handicapped, minorities and…”
St Peter cut in and said. “No, No I’m sorry not doing it for me, next..” An elevator appeared and two dark hooded figures escorted the Democrat away.
The two remaining figures looked at each other, one stepped forward even more confident than the first.
St Peter asked, “Who might you be and what have you done for mankind, and America?”
“St. Peter sir, unlike my colleague before me, you will find I am worthy of paradise. I am a Republican, and have done much for humanity. I hate those spineless weasels…” ”
St Peter added. “Never liked them myself, but that’s not going to help you..”
“Anyhow..My party and I have attempted to rid America of the sin of abortion, and homos, we have sought to bring religion into schools and every other aspect of life, and we have fought to bring morality and responsibility to all Americans, and..”
“Sorry..see ya..” St Peter said. He snapped his finger and The Republican was escorted down into the abyss by the same two dark hooded figures.
The next man stepped forward slowly, looking dejected and disappointed.
“Who are you and what have you done for humanity and your country?” St Peter asked.
“I wish to say I have done nothing like these two gentleman…I suspect I deserve what is coming to me. I’m sorry for what I’ve done, I’d lost my job, my home and family. Luckily I’d gotten a job driving a taxi, just as things were about to get worse. I shouldn’t have been drinking on the job, but I did and while taking my fare to their destination got into an accident, ran into a manure truck, we all sufficated in shit. I truly am sorry… for it was those two exemplary gentlemen before me that were killed along with me.”
The pearly gates opened, and St Peter said. “Truly the Lord works in mysterious ways.”
Stolen from: The De-Evolution of Man