Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Modern Day Sayings

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

Stolen from: Phil of Phils Phun
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  1. Unfortunately, those words are truer than funny. I look at what mid-long term CD's are earning nowadays while trying to correlate that number to the look on my Financial Advisor's facial expression. And I call that entertainment.

  2. Are you sure these weren't taken from the Enron employee handbook?

  3. i think the last one says it best!

    smiles, bee

  4. "Everything you need to know about economics" in one easy post!

  5. Yep, Standard & Poor is what I am but I'm certainly not alone - sadly!

  6. Those are all so true. Standard and Poor is my name tag. But they are all very true which is so sad. Take care Sandee and have a great day.

  7. my life in a nut shell.

  8. yes Darlin, looking forward to 2018. or maybe just 2012 when you know who goes away.

  9. We've gotta do a White House correction in 2012 to help out our bottom line. No doubt.

    Big hugs, honey...

  10. I managed to get broker even without a broker...lol Guess that's why I fall into standard and poor :)

  11. ...And the toilet connects to the pipes and the pipes connect to the sewer and the sewer flows through Washington, that's the center of all the shit.

    good one..


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