Monday, November 22, 2010

Martha or Maxine

Martha Way#1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Maxine's Way #1: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Martha’s Way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Maxine's Way #2: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha’s Way #3: When a cake mix calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead, there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Maxine's Way #3: Go to the bakery. They’ll even decorate it for you.

Martha’s Way #4: If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant “fix me up.”

Maxine's Way #4: If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that’s just too bad. Please recite with me the Maxine motto: “I made it and you will eat it.”

Martha’s Way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the fridge and it will keep for weeks.

Maxine's Way #5: Celery? What’s that?

Martha’s Way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust just before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Maxine's Way #6: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don’t do it.

Martha’s Way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Maxine's Way #7: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can’t rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eyes and then the problem isn’t the headache anymore, because now you are BLIND. A much better use for the lime is with tequila. You certainly won’t have a headache, not until the next day, anyway. If a headache does occur, repeat with the tequila and lime.

Martha’s Way #8: Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Maxine's Way #8: Leftover wine???
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  1. I am so on Maxine's side! Girlie-Girl stuff just drives me nuts. There are so many important things to worry about. And from reading some of your comments, I take you're cold today! I guess we've got more cold stuff coming - and it's supposed to freeze a couple of nights. Yikes! There go my hibiscus plants.
    Happy Monday!

  2. I admire Martha but am way more like Maxine!

  3. I must say i do prefer Maxine's way LOL

  4. Being a man I certainly am more likely to follow Maxine's tips

  5. True confessions... I AM Maxine! Leftover wine? You must be joking!

    Big hugs :]

  6. With all due respect to Martha, the single greatest kitchen implement ever devised, was the telephone, to order delivery.

    And no leftover wine h'yar, either.

  7. I think my life's ambition is to become Maxine.

  8. Maxine is definitely the only way to go. Especially with the tequila, except who needs lime? LOL!

    Have a terrific day!
    Big hugs,

  9. It's a Maxine sort of day, week, season...One of the all time great comic creations.

  10. omg! i SO used to be martha and now i am SO maxine... ha ha ha

    smiles, bee

  11. I love Maxine. Laughing...

    "Celery? What’s that?"

    Those two play off each other nicely, don't they?


    Have a great day Sandee, and thanks for the laugh!

    Big hug and love,


  12. Maxine certainly is my hero. Her ideas are mine totally. Who has left over wine?? No one that I know. Too funny. More Maxine please.
    Take care and have a great Turkey week. Time to eat.

  13. I love both, but Maxine makes my day!

  14. I get Maxine Bday cards from my sister every year. They always crack me up. Have a Great Thanksgiving!

  15. Leftover wine? That's a sin!

  16. Maxine over Martha any day. I love Maxine.

  17. I've got my own pastry chef, thank you very much.
    Maxine sees the world thorough our eyes. Martha...not so much.

  18. I'll take Maxine over Martha any day. She is a hoot and always makes me laugh.

    Big hugs, honey...

  19. I love Martha's way..but honestly am also on Maxine's side. The lime on the forehead made me giggle here in the office now..:)

    Have a nice week ahead Sandee!

  20. Yea, what is celery?!?!?

  21. If you follow Maxine's cooking methods you could be the next Master Chef and TV star.

  22. Hahaha.. i love you Maxine..haha

    Have a great day Sandee.

  23. These are great, Sandee! I've read them before but had lost track of them. Sometime when I steal them I will come here and 'search' your blog for them.
    Thank you.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  24. I'm pretty much more Maxine-like!

  25. Leftover wine, don't be silly....


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