Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Nightmare

In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Black, and I'm circumcised! Quickly I jumped up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver license photo and it was that same color. Black. I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair. But it's a wheelchair!

That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled! I said to myself, aloud, 'This is impossible. It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled.'

'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me I turn around, and it's my boyfriend. Just what I needed! I am a homosexual, and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend. Oh, my God. Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive!

Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and OH, NO, I'm Bald! The telephone rings. It's my brother. He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hangout, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap. Any job.

Mom? Dad? No. Now I'm also an unemployed orphan! I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV-positive, bald, and an orphan. But he doesn't get it.

Frustrated, I hang up. It's then I realize I only have one hand! With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker.

Pacemaker? Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV-positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood.

At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, 'Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided which inaugural party we are going to for Obama?

Say it isn't so! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug addicted, Jewish gay on a Pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend, but please, oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a DEMOCRAT.

Stolen from: Phil of Phils Phun
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17 comments:

  1. That's a nightmare, alright! Only thing missing from it was Joy Behar, excoriating you and walking off the stage ;)

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  2. are you sure it isn't hell?

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  3. Have a beautiful day, Sandee!

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  4. I can hear Charlie laughing from here

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  5. Which reminds me of the day, not long after my parents moved in with me, when my Dad said to me, "Oh, my God. Don't tell me I've raised a Republican!"

    Truth!

    Big hugs, honey :]

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  6. what a miserable comedy...
    have a great day!

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  7. That was a good one.And oh so true. He sure is in bad shape. LOL Take care and have a super duper day.

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  8. I have no comment to make at this time. I live in Stalag Chicago. Shush.. The Democrats have spies everywhere. Democrats are good (bowing, kissing the ring of King Richard).

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  9. Oops, watch it, Sandee. :)
    A blogger, Marie Claire, has gotten into trouble (with the news) for posting her disdain for 'heavy people.'

    I do sort of remember an old movie where a major line was, "Dem Dem's." "Sort of" means that is all I remember. [Google didn't help me much here.]
    ..
    To continue the first paragraph, Harry Smith, Co-Anchor, The Early Show, went on to say that a lot of bloggers are 'snarky.' That remark has put him on my bad list.
    ..
    BTW, a lot of Facebooker's ARE 'snarky.'
    I won't name any.
    ..

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  10. I love this one, although, I am an "independent democrat", if there is a such a term! Cheers! Sandee!

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  11. I am still rubbing my eyes

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  12. Bwaaahhhhh! Of all the things...

    Big hugs, honey...

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  13. LOL, good one. Guess it just all around sucks to be him :)

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  14. well except for 2 wild assumptions,
    this joke was not too bad

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  15. Funny! very funny! Poor guy...Probably be better of as a Republican anyway. Getting screwed by a rich white guy is a little easier on the..backside from what I hear.

    Vote Libetertarian

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  16. Hilarious! I was wondering where you were going with this, and I was not disappointed. Great twist at the end.

    I have a nightmare, too. Only in it, I'm a CEO of a large corporation, living in a huge mansion, watching illegal immigrants take care of my property from the picture window in the family room while I play with my congressional puppets.

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