Saturday, September 4, 2010

$1,000 an Inch

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."

The man perks up.

"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had five inches before and get nine inches now she might be a bit put out. If you had nine inches before and you decide to only invest in five inches now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day.

"So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes, I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes," says the man.

"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite counter tops."

Hat tip: Georgia L.


  1. Good thing he talked it over with his wife. they made a great

  2. Hopefully, she'll get more than 9 inches of countertops! bwahahahaha!

    Happy long weekend, Sandee! Oh wait... you're retired. Never mind.

    Big hugs :]

  3. Why didn't I know that was going to be the answer. Smart woman.
    Have a spectacular week end Sandee. We are having gorgeous weather here.

  4. sounds about right to me! ha ha ha

    smiles, bee

  5. They must have been married a really long time to want the granite so badly! LOL!

    Hugs to you and have a great Labor Day weekend.

  6. After 31 years of marriage, it's time for granite counter tops.

  7. I knew that was coming. :)
    Oh, women!

  8. And that granite will last longer:)

    Don't work too hard this w/e. Big hugs, honey...

  9. Didn't see that coming... but should have. Smart -- very smart -- woman. :o)

    Have a great holiday weekend.

  10. granite or grenade?
    have a terrific weekend!

  11. Another good one! You cheer up my day!

  12. I'm going to have to get my father in law to read this - they are building a new house right now! He's been shopping cabinetry :)

  13. Good one.Yep we would go with the tops as well.

  14. Trying to calculate how much granite counter tops go for these days and then determining how much the poor guy is going to have left ...

  15. Let me calrify my last comment we have been married 30 years and sex is not that big of a thing anymore.

  16. hahaha!!! women are intelligent..wise and everything. Thank you for the morning laugh :)

  17. OMG... hilarious... LOL...


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