Thursday, July 15, 2010

Intergalactic Travels

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Irritated at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he re-focused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'

Hat tip: Babs of Beetle's Memories 'n' Ramblings
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20 comments:

  1. Ah, the wisdom of our elders. Why do we never listen? bwahahahahaha!

    Have a great day, Sandee! Big hugs xo

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  2. That's funny (it's also 6am and my eyes are still crossed)

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  3. 0545 here in Kansas.

    Bwahahahahahahaha!!!


    ROTFLMAO

    THANX.

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  4. That was about the funniest thing I've heard all week! I really wasn't expecting that! Good one--a keeper for the vault.

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  5. I'm in tears! Great, just great!

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  6. Hysterical. I needed that laugh this morning.
    Have a great day.

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  7. Hahaha... at last there is something the aliens will learn from earthlings!

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  8. i will remember that for sure! and believe me, i won't mess with him either! good one!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxxo

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  9. Ahhh. Just call me Mr. Pump. That's what they all say.

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  10. Didn't see that one coming. I surely thought there was a BP joke in there somewhere.

    Hilarious! And yet, so true!

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  11. Didn't see that one coming. I surely thought there was a BP joke in there somewhere.

    Hilarious! And yet, so true!

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  12. Dick wanted to know what I was laughing about...he liked it!

    Have a great day. We're moving on to WY. Big hugs, honey...

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  13. Have a great day!

    Big hugs!
    Lydia

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  14. Now I know what 'BP' stands for!

    PLU!

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  15. ROFL, those older wiser ones know what they are talking about.

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  16. ROFL, those older wiser ones know what they are talking about.

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  17. Now that was funny! Thanks for the big laughs again. Have a great weekend!

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  18. Too funny

    http://inform.co.nz/

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