Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Dog for Sale

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.'

Hat tip: Nick M.

30 comments:

  1. If only I could get Duke to speak up like that :)

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  2. But he looks like such an honest pup! hahahaha!

    Big hugs xo

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  3. I thought you were going to say that he never stops talking. LoL!

    Thanks for the smiles today.

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  4. I thought you were going to say that he never stops talking. LoL!

    Thanks for the smiles today.

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  5. LOL--now that was funny. If dogs could talk, we'd all be doomed :)

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  6. Hysterical, does this mean that my cats are lying to me when they talk to me???
    Have a great day.

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  7. oh another good one! i'm telling that at mahjong!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxox

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  8. Have a great day!

    Big Hugs!

    Lydia

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  9. Totally first laugh of my morning - Yeah, I know it's late but I got up late and did silly stuff like have breakfast and read the newspapers before I turned on my computer!

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  10. oh, my gosh... this is one of your best ones yet... LOVE IT!

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  11. it's hilarious! LOL

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  12. ooooh good one, that one got me hehe

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  13. did not expect that : )

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  14. funny! dint expect the comeback!

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  15. After all he is a retired government employee! $10 is justified!
    have a great day!

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  16. My dog tries to talk, honest, but I wouldn't sell her for anything.

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  17. Sometimes honesty is not the best policy.

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  18. Nice. That one put a smile on my face. :-)

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  19. I wasn't expecting that ending either. Funny! :)

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  20. Such a cute dog! Great blog, too.
    http://omhu.com

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  21. Such a cute dog! Great blog, too.
    http://omhu.com

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  22. My dog lies too..... all the time

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  23. Are you sure that is wasn't a schnauzer Darlin?
    zily

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  24. I'd buy him! He'd be a great conversation starter.

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  25. My cat will lie but my dog doesn't know how. This gave me a much needed chuckle.

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  26. Hahaha, pretty hilarious. Beauty is the name of this dog, cute!

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  27. I needed that! Thanks....
    I've always wondered about the origins of really good jokes - and why I can never come up with one!
    ~~~Blessings~~~

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  28. Bwahahahaha....i wish our dogs could talk like that hahaha...that was so funny Sandee.

    Thanks for the laugh again and thanks for the follow too.

    Have a great day.

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