Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Political Correctness

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , all Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as "APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS".

And furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
  1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
  2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
  3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
  4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
  5. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
  6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
And, not to discriminate.... HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT:
  1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID STORAGE FACILITY."
  2. He is not a " BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
  3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
  4. He is not "BALDING" - He has "FOLLICLE IMPAIRMENT."
  5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
  6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
Stolen from: Jonas of With a Smile
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27 comments:

  1. The whole politically correct thing drives me crazy but these cracked me up.

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  2. I think being politically correct is just a way of watching what you say so you don't offend, sensitive people. Blech! If they are sensitive that's their fault not ours, right?

    But these were seriously funny. Liquid storage facility, bwahahahaah.

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  3. bwahahahaha! There seems to be an overabundance of cases of Rectal-Cranial-Inversion lately, doesn't there?

    I usually don't like anything that's hyphenated. Like African-American... It's like having your cake and complaining loudly and obnoxiously about it. Pick one and live there.

    Big hugs xo

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  4. So...if I grab my rear cleavage with both hands and give a big tug, it will free my cranium. Therefore, I have pulled my head out of my ### and cured the rectal/cranium inversion syndrome. Wow...thanks for the medical advice.

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  5. Hmmm...maybe we should share that medical advice with Washington.

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  6. How funny is this! Bwahahahaha! You got me! ^_^

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  7. marvelous...I liked the off the IT express high way! Have a great day!

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  8. ROTFLMAO, those are hysterical. I liked them all. Those are really really funny. I needed a good laugh this morning.
    Have a great day.

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  9. HA--rear cleavage. LOVE that one!

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  10. Happy Wednesday!!

    Have a great day!

    Big Hugs!

    Lydia

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  11. we are going to politically correct ourselves to oblivion one of these days but this was pretty danged funny!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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  12. Thanks for the giggles.

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  13. The funniest thing was that God awful picture of Hillary.

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  14. Hehehehehehehehe!!! We have so missed you!! Mom started working and now we have less time to visit all our favorite blogs!! Have a great day
    Sandee!
    Your (formally FL) now TX furiends,

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  15. These are really funny. I'm even on the list. I'm Overly Caucasian! Thank you For helping me to be PC.

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  16. With exception of #2 about dancing those are fun; but 2 is in my opinion pretty offensive and most definitely not politically correct.

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  17. I'll take pre-political practice, any day before it went off the handrails.

    Plu!

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  18. Definitely overly Caucasian here.

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  19. Thank you for clearing that up for me, my husband Investigates alternative destinations on a regular basis.

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  20. Now that's funny. I don't care who you are.

    Dick definitely has that cranial impairment going on, but as he says, it's OK for that to be the first thing to go.

    Big hugs, honey...

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  21. rectal cranial inversion.... bwahahahahahahahahaa! that's a good one!


    So true! so true!

    Hsve a great day Sandee... thanks for the laugh.

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  22. P.S. Hank thanks you for the chuckles...

    :-D)

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  23. http://www.strictlykevin.blogspot.com/

    Please check it out and let me know what you think!

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  24. Hey its really very funny Picture.

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  25. I sent this to my SIL who lives between Memphis and Nashville, near Jackson.
    Before I knew better I was calling her a Hillbilly. Thanks for the heads up.
    ..

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  26. Okay, that's funny! I keep trying to come up with some good ones too!

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  27. Lol! A good laugh is a nice way to start the day.

    Art of RetroCollage's last blog ...Wholly Holiday Assemblage: Bergdorf Goodman’s Phantasmagorical Window Montages

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