Sunday, May 30, 2010

Toilet Paper

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.'

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this take?' I asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.

I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'

Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't it?'

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

Stupid, stupid man.

Hat tip: Sarge Charlie of Sarge Charlie

Current Whereabouts: Boat!
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25 comments:

  1. Oh No! He would be so dead at my house hahaha!

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  2. stupid man...

    hope you get on the boat honey! and have wonderful smooth seas and sunny warm days.

    smiles, bee
    xxoxoxoxoxoxo

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  3. It's amazing he lived through it. Stupid stupid man...lol

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  4. Sometimes, the truth hurts...for both parties.

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  5. And he wouldn't be able to TOUCH that butt either! Idiot.

    Havin' fun in the sun I hope. Use sunscreen. Big hugs, honey...

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  6. Stupid, stupid man. And no doubt a man now living in celibacy. hahahaha!

    Happy boating! Big hugs xo

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  7. hahaha... nice weekend joke! have a great weekend!

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  8. Only men who can run EXTREMELY fast and for indefinite periods of time should ever attempt this at home.

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  9. Oh my that poor man is in big trouble but it sure did make me laugh. Too funny. Good one.
    Have a very fine day.

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  10. lovely joke sandee.......and
    dat man is a fighter....

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  11. Haaha! God, I wish I would have thought of that!!!

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  12. Hi Sandee. thanks so much for your support. As for the joke, its an Oldie but a goodie. The first time I heard it I kicked the slat's out of my cradle. Keep up the good work.
    Walt AKA All Sports on the Web
    All Sports on the Web

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  13. That's great. I'd never heard that joke before, but it's a good one.

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  14. He's got a terrific sense of humor.

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  15. I am happy, that you are still with him and helping him through his bad time in life. This is what
    Marriage is all about.

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  16. I must be tired, I never saw that one coming and I bet he didn't either!

    Hope you're having a great weekend, Sandee!

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  17. I really pity that fool of a man :P

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  18. Make sure it's a tiny straw! :D

    http://vanillaseven.com/

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  19. I had to laugh you gotta admit it was funny, i was actually falling for it and read on for the results.

    Does he have any tips on a reduction my moobs seem to be growing as i get older.

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  20. LMAO....at a distance ;-)

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  21. Ha ha ha ha! Great one!

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  22. Lol, funny enough, that sounds like something my b.f. would suggest, him and his weird tactics.

    Funny nonetheless. Have a great memorial day weekend!

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  23. bwahahaha!!! he is lucky he doesn't live in my house. i would have buried him alive. stupid man indeed! LMAO!!!

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