Friday, April 9, 2010

In Your Own Words

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 94 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him, 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, ' April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard!

Hat tip: Duffy L.

Current whereabouts: Boat! It's Safety Day on Saturday and I'm in charge of the party.


  1. Sweet little old lady. hahahaha!

    Have fun on the boat, Sandee! Big hugs xo

  2. This would be funny if I still wasn't recovering from the gunshot wound.

  3. That guy got what he deserved! For sure.

    Enjoy your w/e. It is beautiful here. Spring arrived, but was snatched back briefly yesterday.

    Big hugs from Mayberry...

  4. I would have done the same thing. Shoot that creep. Good one Sandee. Have a great day.

  5. I would have done her for some homemade cookies.

  6. Ha ha ha! Good on yer Gran!

  7. Well you can't really blame the poor lady now, can you??

    Have a great Friday, Sandee!

  8. And, really, he deserved that!

  9. Hahahaha...good for him...he deserved that..haha

  10. Have fun on the boat and a great weekend!

  11. hee hee, that is too funny. not nice to play april fools jokes like that on little old ladies.

  12. hi honey, cute joke today. everything is the same here. when they say no news is good news sometimes i wonder??

    smiles, bee

  13. nice joke! have a great week end!


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