Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,

"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"

The Government Employee called his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet...
  • ate the cookies,
  • drank the milk,
  • sh*t on the paper,
  • screwed the other three cats,
  • claimed he injured his back while doing so,
  • filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions,
  • put in for Workers Compensation, and
  • went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
Hat tip: Duffy L.
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27 comments:

  1. wow, really brilliant!!! The Government employee's really intelligent!!!

    Wow i love it..

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  2. My husband is an engineer that works for the government...hmmm

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  3. hey! this is superrrr!!!
    have a great day!

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  4. Now that was a good one.
    Have a great day !

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  5. ...and got extra rations and a raise after that. Assholes!

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  6. Ouch! I don't want to call the government cat the smartest cat, but he definitely accomplished more nothing than the other three.

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  7. LOL! Go Government Cat!!! And we thought you'd be a lazy good for nuthin over-compensated sod!

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  8. Gosh now that I know all my cats are owned by the government, I need to get in touch with them and have them send money for all their food.
    Great story.
    Hugs back at you Sandee.

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  9. Sandee,Works for me,big time hug my friend!

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  10. brilliant government cat... LOL! now i'm really convinced i'm in the wrong industry :D

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  11. LOL... Coffee Break is one smart cat!

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  12. Man, I need a government job!

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  13. Coffee Break was a more ambitious cat than I expected of a government employee pet; I just thought he'd sit on his ass and act entitled ;)

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  14. yeah, y'all wish!

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  15. Oh Wow! I figured he'd make all kinds of decisions that wouldn't work and then have his contractor guy do it right. [~Spoken~ by an ex Ford Aerospace engineer.]

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  16. Yep, sounds like a guvmint cat!

    Big hugs, honey...

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  17. Now that is one smart cat!

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  18. Dang! That IS a smart cat!

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  19. You forgot that he was in a union! LOL!

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  20. I think the government cat won this one, but then what's new :)

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  21. Hahahaha I know a few cats like that!

    Hugs and loves :)

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  22. LOL. I wanna work in Government Sector!

    http://vanillaseven.com/2010/03/17/boyish-side/

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  23. LOL... too good :)

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  24. Great one, Sandee!

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  25. Hmmm.. You just confirmed my suspicious that I had picked the wrong job all along.. I need a leave - sick or not!

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  26. As a retired government employee I would have to say that cat was probably on it's way to being a department head...or maybe a Senator.

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  27. Like this...... :D


    http://naufal-juniardi.blogspot.com/

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